Translation
Fanfic: OneShot – the dream of Atashi´s heart-
Subtitle: a dream which will never come true
Chapter: the kiss
OneShot - the dream of Atashi's heart-
The heat was written all over her face, glowing red. She had made up her mind not to show anything, especially now. She had to muzzle the unapproachable so that nothing could get to her, nothing that could cause the devastating blow to her heart. And yet she turned red, from one cheek to the next over the tip of the nose and the ears were suddenly supplied with more blood.
It just couldn't be. Her heartbeat raced at full speed, each beat pounding relentlessly against her chest. She had to be able to prevent these feelings, no matter what, because otherwise she would lose something even more precious than love, namely the budding friendship.
Slowly he released his embrace from her shoulders. Every fresh breeze that was no longer soaked in its scent seemed to her like a new surge of hope that could suppress the tremor of her heart.What if he noticed now?
"Well, that's it for the first time in 2005, isn't it?" He smiled at her. The Christmas season was in its prime and the holidays were here. Everyone said goodbye for this year. Some would still see each other on New Year's Eve or Christmas, because their parents wanted to celebrate together or the well-organized New Year's Eve parties were just around the corner, but she was standing alone again. It was like every year. But this year there was a much harder pain. The pain ... it was. He who was actually always so nice to her; he whom she met again and again and now and then exchanged a word with him. There was just a slight sympathy between them. But from her side ... it had become more for a long time. She didn't know why. Was it because she fell in love with everyone as soon as he was nice to her? Was it because she felt so alone and helpless in proportion to others who had been superior to her in this regard for years?It was just simple sympathy ... simple charisma at the beginning. How quickly the fateful sword's unpredictable scabbard could point its dagger at her, with such sudden feelings. She didn't want to say that she loved him, didn't want to have it, because she knew how one-sided, foolish and hopeless it was. But she knew what it would mean to her to finally be worth more to him than a simple casual acquaintance. The basis for this dream, the dream to see him more often and to gain his trust as a good friend was the development of a closer friendship. But already there the conflict developed. How was she supposed to meet him when they hardly had the same circle of friends? How could she get closer to him without making it clear what he meant to her? The problem was unsolvable, would remain unsolvable forever .. he already told her, without knowing how she felt, that it was different ... and reality showed it too.What would she give for being close to him, as close as the one time when he had taken her hand in a friendly manner. Amicably ... yes that was it, unfortunately. All the hints she initially got from his behavior were nothing but the froth of dreamy fantasies. He had never meant it that way. He would never mean it. And yet he took her in his arms again ... and yet they talked so often, or so it seemed to her.
But the distance between both souls only seemed to grow under their increasing dreams.
After half an eternity, she nodded softly to him, shying away from eye contact with his blue crystals, which each time shone through her whole body to the core.
She couldn't tell him without destroying everything she had built. This certainty alone pierced her heart.
"I'll see you, will you?" She whispered hoarsely through the soft fluff of snowflakes that covered the air of the cold winter afternoon."Yes, of course.", He laughed brightly and slowly the distance between the two widened. He stepped back, slowly and yet steadily faster, it seemed to her. The chasm choked her breath, but either way it was just pointless. Smiling, she put on a pained grin and got on the train that was finally to remove her from the place of incessant suffering and yet the greatest beauty, at least for two weeks; two weeks that should seal their fate. She was lulled by the stifling heat of a heated compartment. Sighing inside, she took a seat in her favorite seat immediately to the right behind the engine driver's compartment of the train. With the black cloak pulled over her wrists, she wiped the steamed pane of her window clean in order to regain eye contact with the essence of her greatest joy and her greatest suffering. Fatigue fell over her eyelids, but she waved again to say goodbye. He waved back, friendly, nice and courteous as always and slowly the train started to move.Her exhaustion and the temperatures of the over-air-conditioned train soon overwhelmed her. She dozed off.
Her dreamy imagination, which she visited so often during the day in situations like this, spun the thread of reality into the desired dream and slowly an image formed in front of her closed eyes. She stood again, this time alone with him on the railroad track. It was the same situation as the one I just went through. But after the hug that finally elicited a joyful sigh from her here in her dreams, he did not remove his hands from her. Rather, he slowly pushed her up and down her back, massaged her neck, this time smiling happily but shyly at her somewhere. She no longer avoided his gaze and his hand was gently caressing her cheek when he pulled her up a little bit and placed his warm mouth on hers, who longingly received his. In this picture in front of her sleeping eye, a tear cautiously came out of her eyelashes and gently dripped down onto the fabric-covered cover of her seat on the train.Little did she know that this dream was coming true at that very moment, on the abandoned railroad track she was just leaving; just with him and someone else, not you.
The heat was written all over her face, glowing red. She had made up her mind not to show anything, especially now. She had to muzzle the unapproachable so that nothing could get to her, nothing that could cause the devastating blow to her heart. And yet she turned red, from one cheek to the next over the tip of the nose and the ears were suddenly supplied with more blood.
It just couldn't be. Her heartbeat raced at full speed, each beat pounding relentlessly against her chest. She had to be able to prevent these feelings, no matter what, because otherwise she would lose something even more precious than love, namely the budding friendship.
Slowly he released his embrace from her shoulders. Every fresh breeze that was no longer soaked in its scent seemed to her like a new surge of hope that could suppress the tremor of her heart.What if he noticed now?
"Well, that's it for the first time in 2005, isn't it?" He smiled at her. The Christmas season was in its prime and the holidays were here. Everyone said goodbye for this year. Some would still see each other on New Year's Eve or Christmas, because their parents wanted to celebrate together or the well-organized New Year's Eve parties were just around the corner, but she was standing alone again. It was like every year. But this year there was a much harder pain. The pain ... it was. He who was actually always so nice to her; he whom she met again and again and now and then exchanged a word with him. There was just a slight sympathy between them. But from her side ... it had become more for a long time. She didn't know why. Was it because she fell in love with everyone as soon as he was nice to her? Was it because she felt so alone and helpless in proportion to others who had been superior to her in this regard for years?It was just simple sympathy ... simple charisma at the beginning. How quickly the fateful sword's unpredictable scabbard could point its dagger at her, with such sudden feelings. She didn't want to say that she loved him, didn't want to have it, because she knew how one-sided, foolish and hopeless it was. But she knew what it would mean to her to finally be worth more to him than a simple casual acquaintance. The basis for this dream, the dream to see him more often and to gain his trust as a good friend was the development of a closer friendship. But already there the conflict developed. How was she supposed to meet him when they hardly had the same circle of friends? How could she get closer to him without making it clear what he meant to her? The problem was unsolvable, would remain unsolvable forever .. he already told her, without knowing how she felt, that it was different ... and reality showed it too.What would she give for being close to him, as close as the one time when he had taken her hand in a friendly manner. Amicably ... yes that was it, unfortunately. All the hints she initially got from his behavior were nothing but the froth of dreamy fantasies. He had never meant it that way. He would never mean it. And yet he took her in his arms again ... and yet they talked so often, or so it seemed to her.
But the distance between both souls only seemed to grow under their increasing dreams.
After half an eternity, she nodded softly to him, shying away from eye contact with his blue crystals, which each time shone through her whole body to the core.
She couldn't tell him without destroying everything she had built. This certainty alone pierced her heart.
"I'll see you, will you?" She whispered hoarsely through the soft fluff of snowflakes that covered the air of the cold winter afternoon."Yes, of course.", He laughed brightly and slowly the distance between the two widened. He stepped back, slowly and yet steadily faster, it seemed to her. The chasm choked her breath, but either way it was just pointless. Smiling, she put on a pained grin and got on the train that was finally to remove her from the place of incessant suffering and yet the greatest beauty, at least for two weeks; two weeks that should seal their fate. She was lulled by the stifling heat of a heated compartment. Sighing inside, she took a seat in her favorite seat immediately to the right behind the engine driver's compartment of the train. With the black cloak pulled over her wrists, she wiped the steamed pane of her window clean in order to regain eye contact with the essence of her greatest joy and her greatest suffering. Fatigue fell over her eyelids, but she waved again to say goodbye. He waved back, friendly, nice and courteous as always and slowly the train started to move.Her exhaustion and the temperatures of the over-air-conditioned train soon overwhelmed her. She dozed off.
Her dreamy imagination, which she visited so often during the day in situations like this, spun the thread of reality into the desired dream and slowly an image formed in front of her closed eyes. She stood again, this time alone with him on the railroad track. It was the same situation as the one I just went through. But after the hug that finally elicited a joyful sigh from her here in her dreams, he did not remove his hands from her. Rather, he slowly pushed her up and down her back, massaged her neck, this time smiling happily but shyly at her somewhere. She no longer avoided his gaze and his hand was gently caressing her cheek when he pulled her up a little bit and placed his warm mouth on hers, who longingly received his. In this picture in front of her sleeping eye, a tear cautiously came out of her eyelashes and gently dripped down onto the fabric-covered cover of her seat on the train.Little did she know that this dream was coming true at that very moment, on the abandoned railroad track she was just leaving; just with him and someone else, not you.