Rainy Day

Rain. At last. How long had she been waiting for it! Small, light drops searched their way into the depths. Far below her, people in the pedestrian zone opened their umbrellas. They seemed to form a colorful river, always in motion, not subject to any order. At times there was laughter to her upstairs. Sometimes it reminded her of before. Back then. When she had laughed herself. When she was still happy herself. Luck? What did that mean? Happiness was fleeting. And it only brought bad luck once it was gone.

The drops got bigger, harder. They seemed to want to press everything that had not sought protection on the ground. But she did not bow to them. Still staring into the depths. The flow of the umbrellas became thinner. Always thinner. Then it dried up. The people had fled. In the shops and houses. They sought refuge, security. Only she was still outside. High up. On the roof.There was no place where she would have felt more secure than there. No home.

The rain turned into torrential rain. The few trees and shrubs that had survived in the city bowed their heads submissively. Deserted streets. Empty places. The world below was deserted. Peaceful. Calm. Before, she would have smiled in this situation. Felt joy. Joy? How long had she not felt that she had forgotten what it was like to be happy?

Hailstones mingled with the downpour. They lashed her. Left a pain on the skin for seconds before the next grain hit it. Memories pounded on her with every pain. Happiness - disappointment - joy - pain - love - hate. For the first time in years she felt something. Kind of ... regret. For what was going to happen soon.

Would they have done the same in their place? Would they have stopped her? Memories invaded again.A happy young family. A radiant, high-spirited child. Parents looking at their daughter with kind, amused eyes.

A birthday. Gifts. Laugh. Cake. Candles. Wishes. Luck. Bliss. Joy. Big, shining eyes.

Then a car, snow, smooth roads. Blood. Much blood. And fear. Followed by a great void. Darkness. A friendly voice. A white room. Nurses. A drip.

A graveyard. People in black. Coffins. Two excavated graves. Tears. Anxiety. A deep sadness. Lonliness. Rain. Helplessness.

She woke up from her daydreams. Due to the onset of wind, the hailstones hit her body with tremendous force. Paralyzed them. It was too late. She had made up her mind. Couldn't go back. Definitely.

The sky darkened. The day turned into night. Lightning flashed across the sky, followed by memories. Fragments.

Strangeness. Another house, another room.Other furniture. Other residents. Other friends. Others ... legal guardians. No replacement.

Again the cemetery, this time deserted. Tears again. Grief again. New fears. Doubt. Empty. Well-tended graves, flowers, candles. Gravestones, not brand new anymore. Witnesses of impermanence.

A short luck. Friendship. Laugh. Fun. An accident. Blood again. Again emptiness, darkness. Another friendly voice, a white room, nurses.

Another cemetery. Lots of people in black. A white coffin. An excavated grave. A stone, a name carved into it. The image of a young girl. Tears. Sadness. Lonliness. Rain.

Birthday. No congratulations. No presents. No bright eyes. No cake. No candles. No surprises. No wishes. Empty.

One Love. Security. Luck. Wishes. Hopes. Courage. Satisfaction. Proximity. Kisses. Gifts. Joy.

A hospital. People who can't get up. Long suffering. White room.A slow death. Tears. Despair. Lonliness. Rain.

Blind rage. Hate. Seclusion. Blackness. Empty. A decision ...

Now she was sitting on this roof. Did what she had planned for years. At last. The memories tore off. She got weaker. Couldn't move anymore. Almost no longer think clearly. Even weaker. One last look ... The envelope .... Farewell. Was that how the ending felt? Forever?

One last raindrop.

Nothing.

A funeral.

Rain.

Tears.

She has vanished into the void,

but in the blue of the sky

she left an incredible trail

in the blowing of the wind under shadows

an invisible image.