Chapter 4
-Dispute-

Life or love? He who loves lives! He who lives does not have to love. But whoever lives and loves loves life.
Patrick Lehnen

"And then he just left?" Nancy asked in amazement.
"Yes, and it's a good thing. I'll drive to him right away and then take care of the papers and talk to the foundation about where I should deliver the things." Lilly got up and brought her plate into the kitchen. "I'll be on my way too. I'll be back next Friday." She leaned down to Sandy and gave her a kiss, then said goodbye to Nick and Nancy,
When Lilly left the house, Nancy immediately picked up the phone and called Alexander and asked him about the incident that evening, but she didn't get very far because he didn't want to give her any information.

"Hello." Lilly looked at the floor when she entered the living room where Alexander was sitting and drawing. "What are you drawing there?"
"I'm trying to draw something new, away from my, as Susanne called it, childlike style."He replied without looking up.
"Why is that? Your handle is so unique. It is so lively, so," Lilly desperately searches for the right word.
"Now the writer has no words, how amusing." The man remarked dryly and Lilly inevitably had to swallow at the tone in his voice.
"Alexander. What's going on? Why do you really want to change him? Don't you like him?" Lilly asked softly, but she was also afraid of his answer.
"I like him, but at the moment I can't express my feelings with a beautiful fairy tale world, full of miracles, elves, angels, lovely dragons and princesses." He turned around and looked at her. "Right now I just need something else."
"I'm sorry." Lilly whispered, "I never meant to hurt you, it's just like that .."
"Happened? Yes, that's right. When do you want to leave? Into the apartment?"
"You don't have to come with me. It would only be nice if you could give me your car and the trailer."
"I promised you that I would help you and it will stay that way.I also called the telephone company, they'll come tomorrow and put the phone and internet lines in the room. So when do you want to go "He was still looking at her, even when she looked past him she could feel the penetrating look, but she couldn't bear the pain that was in his eyes. Even if it was her fault.
"I have to make a few more phone calls, change my clothes and then we can go," she answered quietly.
“Can you do it in an hour?” She nodded. "Well, your room is next to mine, it has a nice view and is smaller than the other, that's why I gave it to you. Anastasia then gets that across from yours. But you can also swap if you want. I'll be in one Hour back. I have to do something at the exhibition. "Alexander stood up and walked past Lilly and again she heard the door slam shut. She walked slowly to the table and looked down at his drawing.The sheet was only painted with dark colors. It could be fire that was eating its way through the picture, black fire. A big heart was drawn in the middle. Big dark red drops flowed from this heart and it looked as if fire would destroy the heart. The funny thing was that the fire around the heart was a lighter red, making it the lightest color in the picture. It was beautiful, because it expressed exactly the feelings that everyone finds once and with this sadness a very special world of beauty emerged.
Lilly turned away and flipped the picture, then went to her new room. Alexander had already set up her bed, which she had dismantled the previous day. It was on the wall and halfway under the window, which took up a whole page. The window sill was wide enough that you could sit on it and look out of the window. He had also already set up her desk. He was standing by the window, across from the bed.Her boxes, which she had packed yesterday, were in front of the cupboard that was behind the bed. Lilly looked around carefully and felt the tears welling up in her eyes, but she urged her resolutely not to let Alexander get to her like that. She knew it was a mistake to move in here, but it was much more tempting than having to move into some small hole, Anastasia didn't deserve it. She also knew that it was a mistake how you first met, she shouldn't have hugged him straight away and she shouldn't have told him everything, let alone stayed with him. And she shouldn't have allowed herself to be weak when he was with her. But it had always been like that, when they met while dancing, she liked him right from the start. She told him a lot that she didn't tell others and she fell in love with him. She had never gotten over this love, but she had mastered her life very well even without him, apart from Tom, thought Lilly.It is better if we are just friends, maybe friends too, but it will never be the same again.
Resolutely, she turned around and went to look for a phone, then called the foundation to hand over the furniture and clothes.
"Yes, I have the address ... Ok ..... I'll come over tonight and deliver the things ... Yes, good. Goodbye." She hung up and then went into the bathroom. She still had half an hour and she wanted to use it to take a shower.
When she came out of the bathroom a quarter of an hour later, she heard the front door unlock and she hurried to her room to get dressed.
"I'm done." Lilly said when she came down the stairs ten minutes later. Alexander was back at the table with pens in hand.
"Do you know where to take the things?"
"Yes,"
"Well." He put the pen down. "Then we can go."
"Alexander. Should it go on like this now?" asked Lilly as they sat in the car."What?"
"That you keep silent or only answer in monosyllables. That is how you used to pout."
“Well, I'm still a kid.” Came the snappy answer.
"You know exactly that I didn't mean it that way. But if it stays that way, I'll look for something else. Because I don't do that to my little ones. I know exactly what it's like when you have to live between the hostilities of adults. "
"As you mean." Alexander replied only. Lilly was silent, she had achieved what she wanted, right? He didn't get too close to her, he gave her all the freedom, why did she feel so uncomfortable with it. "I saw your picture. The heart." She tried again to get a conversation going.
"Aha."
"I think it's beautiful. Even if I think it's exactly your style, just a little gloomy."
“I'll probably throw it away. Precisely because it's my handle again.” He turned into the street and stopped in front of an apartment. "Here it is."
"Yes. If you don't want the picture, will I get it?" asked Lilly when getting out of the car."Let's see. Do you have the key?"
"Yes." She looked at him sadly, but he wasn't looking at her at all, then she stepped forward and unlocked the door.
"I'll take care of your furniture, you find everything for Anastasia and then the odds and ends." Alexander said and got a toolbox out of the car, then he walked past her without another word.
Lilly looked for Anastasia's room and then began to stow everything in boxes, which she then labeled and carried to the car. When she got to the last box, Alexander came towards her. "You should pack the boxes together and not carry them to the car, that's way too heavy for you" He took the box from her and looked at her angrily.
"And who said that?" she asked angrily, turned and disappeared back into the house. Alexander followed her after putting the box in the car.
"Lilly, you could have let me know, then I would have carried it to you."
"And I would have had monosyllabic and sulky answers again?""What are pouting answers, please?"
"Answers that come from a mouth whose owner is sulking. Let me just keep packing now." Lilly stormed into the bedroom and began to pack the clothes.
"Should Anastasia keep all of her furniture?" asked Alexander and only got a nod in response. "Who of us is sulking now? You said you want your peace and quiet. You have it now." With that he left the room. Lilly thought about following him, but decided against it, after all they weren't children anymore.
The two of them spent the day in silence, they were already driving a truckload to Alexander's and at the same time collecting Lilly's car. When they had emptied the apartment, Lilly drove away with the things for the foundation and Alexander drove the other things home.
The delivery went smoothly, so that Lilly was back after half an hour. She went to Anastasia's room, where she found Alexander, who was just about to set up the shelf.The bed and the desk were already ready. The cabinet was still in pieces on the floor, the boxes were on the bed and the desk.
“Shall I help you?” Alexander turned and looked at her.
"Do you think this is a good idea?" he asked softly, but at the same time he shook his head. “If you want, then assemble the closet.” He threw her a bag with screws in it and then a wrench. “I will then retighten the screws with the cordless screwdriver.” Then he went back to work.
Lilly knelt down and began to assemble the closet. At some point she couldn't stand the silence anymore and got a radio that she turned on. Alexander had meanwhile finished the shelf and now came to her. “I'll help you.” She just nodded. Together they finished the construction and then rearranged the room, then Lilly tidied it up while Alexander made something to eat. The oppressive silence had not passed while we were working together"What do you want to do tomorrow? Your apartment, or do you want to take care of the funeral?" Alexander asked Lilly while eating.
"I'll get my apartment ready. The things I no longer need, or better not need at the moment, can I put them in the basement?" Asked Lilly.
"Can you do, I'll clear a room for you. Shall I help you?" he looked at her and noticed the shadows under her eyes. His guilty conscience announced itself and the desire to take her in his arms and take all the burden off her.
“Please don't look at me like that.”