accept it as long as I can get away from my father, I don't want to hear any more about being a "nothing". I can't take his insults anymore ...

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ Nothing is better, not a piece ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

My life would go on as it is. Only small things would be different: No more school, no friends, but also no more father and no more Seto ...In reality, death is worse than life, but we like to suppress it.
Just once I want to be a person like everyone else ... so: Away with your thoughts, death will bring me redemption ... my freedom ...

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ Those who lose you will feel the pain forever ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Tea asked us a few days ago who is the dearest in our life. Anyone could say a name except me. But when she asked what if someone we like died, everyone looked in dismay. I cannot imagine that they would be really affected if I were no longer there. Maybe ... but I'm also wrong ...

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ If you go - you understand:
There's no going back ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Suddenly it seems like the only way to go if I just jump now. Never before has the answer been so clear before my eyes and it seems like the first right thing in my life.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ You only see the negative side of everything ~ * ~ * ~ * ~But if I jump down here now ... won't it be painful? And what if I survive I will end up paralyzed in a wheelchair, constantly monitored to see whether I try again.
Shouldn't I find another way? One where there can be no consequences if I survive? But why do I only try if I will survive anyway? Why am I worrying like that again ?!

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ Swim in a deep sea of ​​sadness ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

I caught every single one of my tears, collected them in a basin. Now I swim in them, drown myself in my sadness, cry after the tears that I can no longer cry. For so many years I've been lying on the bed crying my heart out. But without a soul, one cannot live ...

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ Only most would like to have more time ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Everyone whines that they'd like more time when the Grim Reaper stands in front of them to get him.They all have so much more to do, if only to breathe one last time ...
I am different from them. My life candle went out many years ago, but no one came to put it out for good.
No angel of death came to fetch me, no demon heard my mute cries.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ We only have this one life
Nobody can give you a second one ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

If I die now, it will be over forever. No more morning washing in the city park.
No detentions if I'm late for class again.
No more fake laughs when I'm with my friends.
No more masks that nobody likes to break.
But no more love either.
No crippling in my stomach when I look into your eyes.
No more arguments when we meet.
No "mutt" out of your mouth, with your beautiful voice ...
Never again ... we only have one life and will probably never get a new one ...

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ Never worry again, never lose again ~ * ~ * ~ * ~I will no longer have to fear losing my job because I was detained. My father won't be able to hit me anymore just because I breathed.
Never again will I have to surrender my body because my father lost his bets. Debt collectors for whom I am only a commodity will never come again.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ Never again bad luck - never again luck ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

My losing streak will come to an end, but I will also be denied happiness.
Do I really want to take this step? What if it turns out for the better? But who am I kidding? I'm only lying to myself!

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ No second chance, and certainly no happy ending ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Everyone had a life story, but mine ends here. There won't be a happy ending as you expect. The drama has long been written and the end is inevitable.
If somebody should read my story one day, you will be able to say everything before it has happened.And whoever cries and says "There is always a second chance", I have to disappoint. I gave people many opportunities, but I deny them to my life ...

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ Make sure it is true:
There's no going back ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Determined to go to the place without a fence. From up here the other students all seem so small. What do you think if someone suddenly lies in the yard? Will anyone even care?
I don't care, because now that's the last step that counts.
The closer I get to the end of the roof, the faster my steps become and I run towards it. I jump off, fall into the depths ... No, I don't fall .... I fly ... huge wings seem on my back, which let me glide gently to the ground. It's not like everyone says, my life doesn't pass me by and I don't see any white light at the end of the tunnel, just the asphalt that is getting closer and closer.
I see the startled looks of the others as they stare at me with wide eyes.Did you expect that from me too? No, you don't ...
And with a smile I close my eyes, call a picture of you in front of my eyes and hit the heated asphalt ...