Translation
Hopeless
him. Lessons began shortly afterwards ...
Class was over and he went home with Ran. There was no sign of the little argument this morning. She laughed exuberantly, literally beaming at him. // I still have so much to tell her ... //, Ehr thought as he walked down the street next to his beloved and talked to her. She had to experience so much.His feelings, the time as Conan ... he wanted to tell her. He wanted to tell her that he had been Conan. The clever elementary school student had not gone to see his parents in Europe, as she assumed. He ran right next to her. If anyone had a right to know his secret, it was her. You and no other. They stopped in front of the Mori detective agency. "See you tonight, Ran!" He said, trying to ignore the throbbing in his ears. "Yes ... see you tonight! And pick me up on time," she said and disappeared inside. For a short time he had hoped to get a kiss goodbye. However, he made use of this wish. He looked after her ... looked at her long brown hair that was blowing in the wind, her graceful steps that made it almost seem as if she were floating up the stairs. With every day he spent with her, his feelings for her grew more and more.
* ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *
If only he hadn't made an appointment with her ... If only they hadn't gone out together.And above all: If only he hadn't told her the truth. Then she would still be here now. He turned on his other side and tried to stop the guilt that threatened to overwhelm him again. "It's not your fault. It was a tragic accident," Heiji, Kogoro and others had told him. Tragic accident? Should he come to terms with that? His head told him that his friends were absolutely right, but his heart was still reproaching itself every day ... These feelings of guilt came back every night ...
What takes my breath away
is a feeling of guilt.
I know this is not true
but it doesn't help much.
And everything around remains silent.
In the end there is only "Why?".
He turned 180 degrees one more time. Closed my eyes again. He felt himself slowly being drawn back into his dream world. He hoped the dream would turn out differently this time. Different from how the past had gone.But deep down he knew that this should not be the case. The blurry images that appeared before his inner eye quickly became sharper
* ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *
There he stood now. The popular detective ... He looked nervously at himself in the mirror. // Just calm down Shinichi. You have a head start in knowledge // he grinned when he thought about it. He knew Ran's feelings. If he didn't know her, he definitely wouldn't dare. But she had confided in Conan, thus himself. And today he would confide in her. He smiled contentedly when he checked the mirror again. The hairstyle was perfect, the tie matched the suit and of course it was tied perfectly. Everything was in order. //You look great! //, he said to himself, to calm himself down, and left the bathroom of the large villa. He couldn't calm down while waiting for time to pass. It was only ten minutes before he was about to leave.Ten minutes that had to be bridged somehow. The first thing he did was walk around the house, but quickly found that it wasn't an appropriate occupation. Then he tried to calm down by sitting on the couch. Instead of calming down, however, he nervously drummed his fingers on the living room table. When he found it, he leaned back and crossed his arms. He didn't know why he was so nervous either. Basically nothing could go wrong. Ran had waited for him for over a year. Within a week, her deep feelings could not go away. No better: they couldn't have disappeared. Otherwise he would be totally embarrassed tonight. And he didn't want that. He wanted to finally take her in his arms ... touch her ... Not as Conan, but as Shinichi. He wanted nothing more than that she would hear his feelings.
...
He wanted to freeze the moment she opened the door. Just looking at them without doing anything else.For himself, this moment was priceless. "Hello," she greeted him and he just nodded. "I didn't think you'd come on time ..." she said as he walked by. Was she covering up her feelings? Or why was she treating him so coldly? He didn't understand. Ran's behavior raised several questions in the high school student that he could not answer. However, he postponed these questions. Tonight was far too important to him to let such doubts ruin him. "Are you finally coming?", Ran's voice came from the street. He broke out of his freeze and replied, “I'll be there… my shoe was open.” It was a stupid excuse, but it worked.
The professor drove them both to a familiar place. The restaurant where his father proposed to his mother. Exactly that restaurant where he wanted to tell her how he was feeling. And this time he would tell her.He was no longer Conan Edogawa, and he would never be that little elementary school student again. After all, Shinichi had taken the correct antidote from APTX. It was safe this time. He would keep his true form. It was the same table again with a view of Tokyo at night. "Woe to you, you're leaving me with my credit card again", Ran had said for fun when he invited her. No, not this time. She could be sure of that ...
* ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *
When a hope dies
and everything in you gets colder
then you won't even have the sadness.
He woke up in a cold sweat. This emptiness in him had become unbearable. He hated it and yet there was nothing he could do about it. Nobody could fill this void that Ran had left in him. It was now two o'clock. He usually got up around 7:00 a.m. He had a little less than five hours left. Hope and fear for five hours.Five hours, maybe finally to find the well-deserved rest that he has missed since that fateful day. Sleep gave him no rest. Every time he woke up he felt more exhausted. Everything that had made up his life he had lost within a few seconds ... Although six months had passed, the events were still there. As if it happened just a few hours ago.
When everything seems pointless,
life is your greatest fine,
then not even time will help you anymore.
Not even the time!
* ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *
The starter and main course were over and the two students waited for dessert. "Ran ..." he started and heard his voice shaking as he pronounced her name. //Now or never! // he thought briefly when he saw Ran's questioning look. "I ... I invited you here for a reason," he whispered, just loud enough for his sandpit friend to catch the words.Her look became even more questioning. She pierced him with her clear blue eyes. "What kind of one?" Came the question back from her. Shinichi closed his eyes for a moment before putting the words in his head correctly. // I love you Ran // it shot around in his head. "I ... I want to tell you that ..." he had choked with nervousness before the words had escaped his lips. The words that he had been carrying for more than a year and that had always been waiting for this moment. "Are you okay?", Ran asked when his cough had slowly subsided. He nodded and continued: "Yes ... Everything is okay," he answered her first. //Why is it so difficult? You have this little head start in knowledge ... // He could have howled because he behaved so childishly. After all, he was almost 18 - almost grown up. // Finally pull yourself together! //, he encouraged himself. Then he took another long breath and went on: "I want to tell you that ... No, different.Ran - I love you! "The words floated across the table. The young student detective waited anxiously for the reaction of his great love. Ran ... I love you! He had really said it. A great stone fell from his heart at that very moment. His beloved reacted in the first Moment not at all.
At first she stirred slowly. As if in slow motion, her left hand went to her mouth. Although only a few seconds had passed, he felt like he had been waiting for an infinite amount of time. Her other hand was still in the middle of the table. While he was still trying to read something on her face, the detective noticed that tears were streaming down his friend's cheeks. But he didn't know whether they were tears of joy or what other meaning these tears could mean. "Are you really serious?" There was a pleading in her voice. The tone with which she asked the question made a chill run down his spine.Tenderly, with a smile on his face, he took her right hand. He got goose bumps when he touched her, and his heart started beating again. He kissed her hand carefully. "I, Shinichi Kudo, love you ... Ran, I really love you!" She pulled her hand back from his and only now did he realize that she was smiling slightly. "Shinichi ... I don't even know what to say now," she breathed, shaking her head briefly. "I ... I didn't expect it ..." she managed.
* ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *
And everything around is mute.
In the end there is only "Why?".
Why hadn't he left it at that? To confess his love to her? But at least she knew. He really had told her. A sad smile lay on his face as he looked at the hotel room ceiling. Those happy moments that he was living through in his dream would soon be over. Fall asleep again and then he could expect to have to experience it all again.He knew it too well. Knew exactly what was coming next. "Why Ran? Why did everything have to come like this?", He muttered, while he closed his eyes one more time that night. Why hadn't they been allowed to experience a happy future as a couple? Why did she have to go and not him? Why? Why? Why?
When a hope dies
and everything in you gets colder
then you won't even have the sadness.
* ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *
"Shinichi ... I", Ran smiled and looked him straight in
Class was over and he went home with Ran. There was no sign of the little argument this morning. She laughed exuberantly, literally beaming at him. // I still have so much to tell her ... //, Ehr thought as he walked down the street next to his beloved and talked to her. She had to experience so much.His feelings, the time as Conan ... he wanted to tell her. He wanted to tell her that he had been Conan. The clever elementary school student had not gone to see his parents in Europe, as she assumed. He ran right next to her. If anyone had a right to know his secret, it was her. You and no other. They stopped in front of the Mori detective agency. "See you tonight, Ran!" He said, trying to ignore the throbbing in his ears. "Yes ... see you tonight! And pick me up on time," she said and disappeared inside. For a short time he had hoped to get a kiss goodbye. However, he made use of this wish. He looked after her ... looked at her long brown hair that was blowing in the wind, her graceful steps that made it almost seem as if she were floating up the stairs. With every day he spent with her, his feelings for her grew more and more.
* ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *
If only he hadn't made an appointment with her ... If only they hadn't gone out together.And above all: If only he hadn't told her the truth. Then she would still be here now. He turned on his other side and tried to stop the guilt that threatened to overwhelm him again. "It's not your fault. It was a tragic accident," Heiji, Kogoro and others had told him. Tragic accident? Should he come to terms with that? His head told him that his friends were absolutely right, but his heart was still reproaching itself every day ... These feelings of guilt came back every night ...
What takes my breath away
is a feeling of guilt.
I know this is not true
but it doesn't help much.
And everything around remains silent.
In the end there is only "Why?".
He turned 180 degrees one more time. Closed my eyes again. He felt himself slowly being drawn back into his dream world. He hoped the dream would turn out differently this time. Different from how the past had gone.But deep down he knew that this should not be the case. The blurry images that appeared before his inner eye quickly became sharper
* ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *
There he stood now. The popular detective ... He looked nervously at himself in the mirror. // Just calm down Shinichi. You have a head start in knowledge // he grinned when he thought about it. He knew Ran's feelings. If he didn't know her, he definitely wouldn't dare. But she had confided in Conan, thus himself. And today he would confide in her. He smiled contentedly when he checked the mirror again. The hairstyle was perfect, the tie matched the suit and of course it was tied perfectly. Everything was in order. //You look great! //, he said to himself, to calm himself down, and left the bathroom of the large villa. He couldn't calm down while waiting for time to pass. It was only ten minutes before he was about to leave.Ten minutes that had to be bridged somehow. The first thing he did was walk around the house, but quickly found that it wasn't an appropriate occupation. Then he tried to calm down by sitting on the couch. Instead of calming down, however, he nervously drummed his fingers on the living room table. When he found it, he leaned back and crossed his arms. He didn't know why he was so nervous either. Basically nothing could go wrong. Ran had waited for him for over a year. Within a week, her deep feelings could not go away. No better: they couldn't have disappeared. Otherwise he would be totally embarrassed tonight. And he didn't want that. He wanted to finally take her in his arms ... touch her ... Not as Conan, but as Shinichi. He wanted nothing more than that she would hear his feelings.
...
He wanted to freeze the moment she opened the door. Just looking at them without doing anything else.For himself, this moment was priceless. "Hello," she greeted him and he just nodded. "I didn't think you'd come on time ..." she said as he walked by. Was she covering up her feelings? Or why was she treating him so coldly? He didn't understand. Ran's behavior raised several questions in the high school student that he could not answer. However, he postponed these questions. Tonight was far too important to him to let such doubts ruin him. "Are you finally coming?", Ran's voice came from the street. He broke out of his freeze and replied, “I'll be there… my shoe was open.” It was a stupid excuse, but it worked.
The professor drove them both to a familiar place. The restaurant where his father proposed to his mother. Exactly that restaurant where he wanted to tell her how he was feeling. And this time he would tell her.He was no longer Conan Edogawa, and he would never be that little elementary school student again. After all, Shinichi had taken the correct antidote from APTX. It was safe this time. He would keep his true form. It was the same table again with a view of Tokyo at night. "Woe to you, you're leaving me with my credit card again", Ran had said for fun when he invited her. No, not this time. She could be sure of that ...
* ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *
When a hope dies
and everything in you gets colder
then you won't even have the sadness.
He woke up in a cold sweat. This emptiness in him had become unbearable. He hated it and yet there was nothing he could do about it. Nobody could fill this void that Ran had left in him. It was now two o'clock. He usually got up around 7:00 a.m. He had a little less than five hours left. Hope and fear for five hours.Five hours, maybe finally to find the well-deserved rest that he has missed since that fateful day. Sleep gave him no rest. Every time he woke up he felt more exhausted. Everything that had made up his life he had lost within a few seconds ... Although six months had passed, the events were still there. As if it happened just a few hours ago.
When everything seems pointless,
life is your greatest fine,
then not even time will help you anymore.
Not even the time!
* ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *
The starter and main course were over and the two students waited for dessert. "Ran ..." he started and heard his voice shaking as he pronounced her name. //Now or never! // he thought briefly when he saw Ran's questioning look. "I ... I invited you here for a reason," he whispered, just loud enough for his sandpit friend to catch the words.Her look became even more questioning. She pierced him with her clear blue eyes. "What kind of one?" Came the question back from her. Shinichi closed his eyes for a moment before putting the words in his head correctly. // I love you Ran // it shot around in his head. "I ... I want to tell you that ..." he had choked with nervousness before the words had escaped his lips. The words that he had been carrying for more than a year and that had always been waiting for this moment. "Are you okay?", Ran asked when his cough had slowly subsided. He nodded and continued: "Yes ... Everything is okay," he answered her first. //Why is it so difficult? You have this little head start in knowledge ... // He could have howled because he behaved so childishly. After all, he was almost 18 - almost grown up. // Finally pull yourself together! //, he encouraged himself. Then he took another long breath and went on: "I want to tell you that ... No, different.Ran - I love you! "The words floated across the table. The young student detective waited anxiously for the reaction of his great love. Ran ... I love you! He had really said it. A great stone fell from his heart at that very moment. His beloved reacted in the first Moment not at all.
At first she stirred slowly. As if in slow motion, her left hand went to her mouth. Although only a few seconds had passed, he felt like he had been waiting for an infinite amount of time. Her other hand was still in the middle of the table. While he was still trying to read something on her face, the detective noticed that tears were streaming down his friend's cheeks. But he didn't know whether they were tears of joy or what other meaning these tears could mean. "Are you really serious?" There was a pleading in her voice. The tone with which she asked the question made a chill run down his spine.Tenderly, with a smile on his face, he took her right hand. He got goose bumps when he touched her, and his heart started beating again. He kissed her hand carefully. "I, Shinichi Kudo, love you ... Ran, I really love you!" She pulled her hand back from his and only now did he realize that she was smiling slightly. "Shinichi ... I don't even know what to say now," she breathed, shaking her head briefly. "I ... I didn't expect it ..." she managed.
* ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *
And everything around is mute.
In the end there is only "Why?".
Why hadn't he left it at that? To confess his love to her? But at least she knew. He really had told her. A sad smile lay on his face as he looked at the hotel room ceiling. Those happy moments that he was living through in his dream would soon be over. Fall asleep again and then he could expect to have to experience it all again.He knew it too well. Knew exactly what was coming next. "Why Ran? Why did everything have to come like this?", He muttered, while he closed his eyes one more time that night. Why hadn't they been allowed to experience a happy future as a couple? Why did she have to go and not him? Why? Why? Why?
When a hope dies
and everything in you gets colder
then you won't even have the sadness.
* ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *. * ~ * ~ *
"Shinichi ... I", Ran smiled and looked him straight in