When you weren't with me

Why did you have to go leave me alone I feel so alone I have been missing you since you left. You left me alone. My friends are moving away from me as I only mourn you, want nothing more to do with them as they remind me of you. Why did you have to leave me alone everywhere I see you it all reminds you of you. Now I'm standing at my window and staring at the sky.
It's that feeling again. Tears well up in me there is not a day that I don't have to cry because of you. Just because you left
And you left without knowing that I love you, I was afraid to tell you then you just left with a "goodbye" you will never know what I feel for you. I feel this emptiness in me, this emptiness that you left behind.
Every day you are not with me this grows empty. There again one of these hallucinations I see you on the street and know that it cannot be you, you are so far away from me, you CANNOT be it, you are not gone with me.You will never be with me again or maybe you will?
If you are real I would be the happiest person on earth.
But you are not. Turn away and run away, run towards a person who kisses you around you.

I go black before my eyes I hold on to my table before my feet give way under me and all because of you !!!!
Why did you have to leave just because you thought I hated you ????????
I love you more than anything. I love you more than my life, only you will never know if you don't come back.

Now I lie on my floor and cry, cry until no more tears come.
I feel like I'm slowly falling asleep in my grief.
Half asleep I notice someone pick me up and lay me in my bed. I open my eyes and see you I whisper your name but you don't answer me I close my eyes again thinking to me why you don't want to talk to me I want to know now open my eyes again and don't look into your face anymore.Again it was a delusion you are not.
It's my best friend, I never thought he'd come to me after I turned away from them.
Shortly afterwards I fall asleep.

When I wake up he is still sitting next to me on the bed. I ask him what he is doing here, his answer was only
He was worried about me because I was always so absent. Didn't talk to him that I've always been sad since you left.

So he noticed I thought he couldn't stand me anymore. He doesn't want anything more to do with me.
I fall around his neck and have to cry again, he did not let go of me but held me very tight. I calmed down a little and fell asleep again.

The next few days weren't as bad as the days before as my best friend helped me through those days. I could laugh again. Be happy again. Didn't have to cry all the time.
Weeks passed and I was finally able to be really happy again.Having really fun with my friends without it being just pretend fun.
Only some days do I have to think of you when all the memories come out again. There is only one thing I don't have to do anymore because of you I don't have to cry at the thought of you anymore.
It still hurts but this pain is part of being able to forget you at last.

One day I went home and saw a stranger standing in front of my house door.
I went closer and asked who he was, but my breath stopped for a moment. As I looked into your face that slowly turned to me. All the feelings from back then rose in me again, I thought I got over you but I was wrong.

The tears that I never wanted to cry again wrestle down my cheeks. I yell at you what you are doing here but you don't answer me why ..
You came up to me and I tried to break away from the embrace but your grip was too strong so I let myself fall into your arms and had to cry mercilessly again.Again I have to cry because of you, why is it always because of you?

he let go of me, looks deep into my eyes and told me. he was blind he only noticed when I was no longer with him how much he loves me. he felt a deep emptiness in him that could not be described and it grew every day. Until the moment when he decided that he drove to me and could tell me that he had always loved me and only left because he couldn't stand it, seeing me day after day and just didn't dare to tell me.
What an irony I did not dare to tell him and he did not dare to tell me, I always thought he was so stuck and brave because I was wrong. Just because we were too cowardly to confess our love to each other, we both had to suffer until today.
I fell in the neck and kissed him kissed him with joy that he loved me from that day on we were the happiest people there are.
Just because we were both too shy to tell each other we had to suffer, why did it take so long until we could finally be happy together.It took too long but it happened what I always wanted deep inside ...
FINALLY I can be happy with my loved one again.