The time that the two of them sat tightly embraced on the floor seemed to Toshiya like an eternity.
He gently stroked Kaoru's back and looked at him.
"Come with me ..." he whispered, pulled the blonde to his feet and brought him to the couch, on which he laid him.
Toshiya leaned over the table to get the tea. He took both cups and put one of them back on the table near her while he handed the other to Kaoru.
"Here, have a drink ... then you will definitely feel better again," he said quietly and soothingly and pressed the cup into the hands of the older man, who had sat up a little.The tea was still warm and Kaoru looked at the surface. It stood out for its tremors
always new waves on it. They reminded him of the ups and downs in his life.
The height that has now been replaced by the darkest low.
Another tear stole silently down her way and when Toshiya saw this, he put his hand on the blonde's.
Lifting the cup slightly, Kaoru glanced briefly at his friend and caught a comforting smile before he started to take a sip of the tea.
It was pleasant how the warmth slowly made its way through his body and he immediately took another sip.
After holding the cup in his hands for a while to absorb the warmth, he looked up at Toshiya.
There was silence between the two for a while, until Kaoru said softly: "... thank you."
Again a smile stole on Toshiya's lips and he briefly stroked Kaoru's cheek, which was now a lot warmer than it was about an hour ago."What else are friends for ...?", He answered quietly and slowly got up, "you should get some sleep, you look tired."
Kaoru knew what he meant. He looked really terrible. He had deep circles under the eyes and his skin was paler than usual. That was probably because he didn't want to sleep. Because when he slept, all the terrible images came up again and he was reminded even more of the past.
And he didn't want to sleep now either, Toshiya could see that by looking at him, because the blonde felt a hand lay on his own again.
"Kaoru, I know it's difficult, but ... don't break yourself ...", said the younger one and the person addressed looked up.
But what if he dreamed about it again? What if he woke up drenched in sweat again at night and screamed his soul out of his body?
Kaoru shook her head slightly. He just couldn't. It was too hard to go through it all over again.
What should he do now? Toshiya, looked at Kaoru helplessly.He was just worried.
The older one meant so much to him. He just couldn't see how he destroyed himself and therefore said, yes, he almost begged him: "Kao..please ... do for me..us for Yu ... he would not have wanted that you throw away your life ... ". The black-haired man became quieter and quieter at the end, because he did not know how the blonde would react to the name.
Already preparing for a thunderstorm, Toshiya slightly ducked his head and waited.
However, the thunderstorm did not materialize and when he opened his eyes again, he saw how Kaoru had lowered his eyes and was staring at his hands.
Toshiya had to swallow and whispered: "I'm sorry, that's not how I meant it ..."
The answer was a shake of the head, followed by the words: "... you don't need to be sorry ... you're right, but .... it's so hard ... I ... dream about it every night .. . "
And so, the blonde lay back and turned a little on his side.Toshiya watched him and smiled slightly. He got up again, took both cups and took them to the kitchen, where he immediately put them in the dishwasher.
When he came back into the living room, the older one had already closed his eyes and seemed to be sleeping soundly. The black-haired man inevitably had to smile a little and went to the couch.
He took one of the fluffy blankets and spread it over Kaoru. After he sat down briefly on the edge of the couch and brushed a strand from his face, he got up again.
He was about to make his way to his bathroom when his wrist was held. When he turned his gaze towards Kaoru's face, two sad eyes looked at him and Toshiya thought he saw a glimmer of fear in them.
He was just about to ask what was going on when Kaoru, softly, barely audible whispered something.
"Do not leave me alone..."
The black-haired man continued to look into the other's eyes until he shook his head and sat down on the couch.He released Kaoru's grip and took his hand in his own.
"I won't leave you alone ... I promise".
He brushed a strand off his face again and smiled. Kaoru looked at him for a moment before he closed his eyes and for a few moments disappeared into the realm of dreams.
Meanwhile, Toshiya examined every single spot on the older man's face.
"He's not only tired, he's also gotten thinner ..", it shot through his head worriedly and he looked out of the window.
"Why did you do this to him?" He thought to the cloudy sky.