Once again you are not looking at me Once again not a word leaves your beautiful lips. Every time I look at your face you seem a little stranger to me. How could it possibly come this far?
My fingers slide gently over the old photo - a photo from happier days. You put your arm around my shoulders and you laugh happily at the camera. At that time our hearts were still beating for a common dream, at that time we only lived for our infinite happiness. What happened? Why are you no longer with me when I need you most? When did the light of love go out in your eyes? You said our love would outlast death. Damn it, Zorro, how could you let it end like this? How could you let our love break us down?


Your green hair is soaked in the rain when you stand on deck in front of me and tell me that you have to go. Again you don't look at me, again you deny me the insight into your insides!Tell me, Zorro, what did I do to you that you can't stand living on a ship with me? What have I done that hurt you so much? Why do you want to leave me
I put a hand on your cheek and am surprised to see that you have been crying. Does that mean you feel the same pain as me? Has our love perhaps not yet been defeated?
But why do you want to leave then? Away from me, away from everything that has ever meant something to you? Why is it so easy for you to say "goodbye" and to draw a line under your previous life?
"Don't you love me anymore, Zorro?" I ask you and my voice is nothing more than a breath of wind. Finally - finally you look at me and your desperate emotions are reflected in your eyes. You raise one arm helplessly and shortly afterwards drop it again. You want to touch me but you don't know how With an anxious heart I wait for your answer.
You look in vain for the right words, even though you know there aren't any.After an eternity you decide to just say what you are feeling ..: "Nami, I ... it's not that easy! Shit, what am I talking about, of course I love you, but ..." - "But what, Zorro? "I ask you almost pleadingly, with crystal-colored tears gathering in my eyes. You don't answer, you just hide your face exhausted in your hands, in your hands, which up to now have always been so tender to me. Following an inner urge, I take a step towards you and gently place my fingers on your forearm until you are ready to talk to me again. You lean forward a little so your forehead touches mine. A slight sigh escapes me. I can finally smell you again, feel you again!
"Why do you want to leave me, Zorro?" I whisper after a while and now look into your emerald green eyes, waiting. Again I can feel my heart getting heavy. Why do you want to go when you do love me?Don't you love me enough
My eyes hold the look you are now giving me and I can feel the cold fear gripping me. You still hesitate, run your right hand nervously through your short hair until you finally say it and each of your words echoes a hundred times in my head, until it almost bursts:
"Nami, I'm going to die!"

I stand there paralyzed and try to realize what you, the man I love most, have just confessed to me. "No, that is not true, Zorro! You know that that is not true!" I say softly and again a veil of tears clouds my gaze. "Yes, Nami, it is true! I have advanced stage blood cancer ..... there is no rescue for me! I have about 6 months left, but then I will die!" I look past you, when I asked, “How do you know?” “From Chooper, he took a blood sample from me and found that there were too many white blood cells in my body!He couldn't help me either! "You answer me in a hoarse voice. I don't dare to look at you, but I know that you started to cry at that moment. A lonely tear now also flows down my face and finally I manage to turn around to you There you stand now, leaning sideways against the bare wall, a broken man. "But why did you want to leave? "You turn your face to me and only now can I see the painful expression on it." I didn't want you to see me slowly perishing !! I always wanted to be the man you love to you! “A sad smile flits over my lips while I hold you in my arms.“ Zorro, you are and always will be the man I love and nothing in the world can change that! "Sobbing quietly, I lay my head on your shoulder and let it happen that you gently stroke my back." Are you scared? ", I whisper in your ear, pulling you closer to me."No, you are with me!", You mumble and shortly afterwards you put your warm, soft lips on my expectantly open mouth. We kiss full of passion and suppressed longing and this kiss seemed to say everything that we couldn't put into words. "Take me, I'm yours!" I moan as you lift me up and carry me into your cabin.
That night you and I slept together for the very first time.


You died on an autumn day almost 7 months later. The first trees had already lost their leaves and the sun bathed the flying lamp in golden light. The child, which I was still carrying under my heart at that time, gave me a hard time that day and therefore I moved as little as possible. Since the illness left its mark on you and you became bedridden, I have woken up by your side for almost 24 hours every day. On that day, however, I left your cabin for a short time to get you fresh water.When I returned and saw you lying motionless in your bed, I knew it was over. You had finally been released from your suffering.

Sometimes when I look at our daughter Kuina today, I involuntarily feel reminded of you. You should see her, she is cut out of your face and I believe that one day she will be just as good a swordsman as you once were, after all, she now trains twice a day with your famous swords. I tell her a lot about you and I think you are her great role model! As for me, I'm fine ... I draw a lot on my nautical charts and make sure that Sanji and Luffy don't do anything nonsensical! Furthermore, I often look at the photo in which you put your arm around my shoulder and smile, do you remember? - From our happier days!



the end