Knuckles on glass. Ritsuka looked up from his homework. It was half past ten at night and he knew who could stand alone out there in the cold and wait to be let in by him. Ritsuka got up and padded barefoot across the cold floor across the room. He pushed aside the curtains and saw the slim, tall figure of Soubis, who was standing there with a billowing coat and a shirt that was much too thin for this time of the year. Ritsuka no longer found it unusual that he appeared so suddenly, it was not necessarily clear to him when Soubi was there, but he enjoyed his presence and if the said was not with him for a long time, he missed him. Even so, Ritsuka asked why he was there when he opened the glass door and let in the nocturnal visitor. He smiled and replied with a kiss on his lips that was little more than the touch of a feather. Ritsuka twitched his ears and then back."Why are you doing this?" He asked.
"Because I love you", Soubi replied and a fine smile flickered over his lips when he saw Ritsuka's expression.
"But I told you not to."
Yes, he had said that many times. Ritsuka was not fooled. He knew the difference between loving and being in love and he knew for which of the two things kisses were meant.
Soubi quietly closed the door behind him and looked at the boy who had let him in.
"But you never told me to," he replied.
Defiantly, Ritsuka turned away. He had heard these words too often and too often he had tasted Soubi's lips. He sat back at his desk and concentrated on the numbers in his math notebook. He lasted only a few seconds, then he had to turn back to Soubi, who was standing strangely out of place in the children's room.
"You haven't told me yet why you came," said Ritsuka as he turned back to his notebook.Sullenly, he scribbled figures in the margin while he waited for the long missing answer.
"Because I love you", Soubi's reply came back and it sounded close.
"I do not believe you."
Ritsuka winced. Soubi had surprisingly put a hand on his shoulder.
"You are my Sacrice. I am your weapon," he whispered and with a quick hand movement that made Ritsuka start again, he put a small knife on the table in front of Ritsuka. He looked at it in amazement and then up at the figure leaning over him.
"What should I do with this?" He asked, touching the shiny blade with his fingertips as if it wasn't a piece of metal, but a dead animal.
"Let's show the world that we belong together," he said, running his long fingers through the boy's lank hair. He struggled to resist the temptation to kiss the thin neck that peeked out of the collar of the much too large pajamas. Instead, he took Ritsuka's hand and placed it on the handle of the knife."What should I do?" He asked, swallowing.
"Come on," said Soubi in that soft voice that you could buy anything from, and pulled the boy up to his bed. He set it down on the edge of the bed, where he sat and stared at the blade he held tightly in his hands. He looked up at Soubi and saw how he was loosening the bandages around his neck. They slid onto his chest, leaving the scars exposed. Beloved.
The words painfully reminded Ritsuka who Soubi actually belonged to and he turned away.
"Look at it."
"Why?" Asked Ritsuka.
"Because you too will leave such marks on me."
Ritsuka was silent for a moment and looked spellbound at the glimmer of the gun in his hands. How hot was it?
"I don't want to hurt you," he said firmly, returning the look from Soubi's piercing eyes.
"But you have to."
"I don't have to do anything, you can't force me to do this to you."
Ritsuka had seen how the scars had bled again and again when Soubi fought, he had felt the heat of his body and saw the pain on his face.He didn't want Soubi to go through any more such agony.
"It won't be as bad as with the other name," Soubi reassured him. "It's because someone by a different name obeys, but it will be different with you. With you it will strengthen me and give me strength to help you find your brother's murderers."
The words worked as they should.
"Show me what to do," said Ritsuka and grasped the knife so tight that his knuckles were white under the skin.