so finally the time has come ^^
my first OS ...
pretty sad ...
have fun while reading

Day X

The tears ran down my face in silence ... More and more and more and more ... What was going on? I felt as if I was gripped by deep grief ... I was sad ... But was I really just sad? I felt how hopelessness took hold of me .... The endless emptiness .... The painful darkness ..... The fear that was always there ...

Anxiety ?!
Fear of what ?
Afraid of my failure?
Afraid of my loneliness?
Afraid of my helplessness?
Afraid of my actions?
Afraid of my thought?
Afraid of me inside?
Afraid of my real me?
Scared of myself?

I had not found myself ... I had set out to flee from myself and from my ideas ... from my actions, my thoughts, from myself ...
Now I was abandoned - left alone - but shouldn't it be like that?
In my heart there was only darkness ... But outside there was light ...But this was no longer important to me ... I didn't want to anymore ...
Now my time had come .....
I had reached my cliff, heard the waves rushing and roaring below me, but this should all come to an end now ... Yes ...
How many times have I been here ???
I stopped counting ... too often, in my opinion ...
I didn't want to be anymore!
My previous life had been terrible, full of fear, despair and above all loneliness ...

That was then and it shouldn't be anymore!

* Flashback *
Once again an insignificant day had dawned for me. Is it?
You should think of a day like any other, but on that day I made a decision that had been in my head for a long time.
I fell in love a long time ago with someone I should fall in love with last. I shouldn't have fallen in love. Especially not in him. I fell in love with a man, it was forbidden in our society.But I couldn't hold back my feelings anymore. It was the worst for me to meet, see, listen and touch him every day. It was just chance, but it gave me goose bumps. It wasn't until much later that I noticed that it was the feeling of love that constantly flooded me around him. I couldn't handle it because I hadn't experienced real love in my life. As much as I wished, no one had ever truly loved me from the bottom of their hearts.
How could I hope that someone of high standing and popularity would mess with me? Would even reciprocate my love?
But I had decided to put an end to this terrible thought.
Either all or nothing! This was my motto that I had lived by for far too long, in my opinion. It had brought me nothing in life, only cruelty, misfortune, tears and suffering! So I had nothing more to lose ...So I decided to confess my love to him. But if he did not accept it, which was the highest probability, I would no longer want to exist in this world. He was a man, I was a man, he was popular, I was not wanted. So how would he want to deal with me? So I went to training with a happy expression on my face and, as always, played my role as a quiet and cranked good-mood promoter. But after training my chance came and I took it because it would be my last.

"Hello Sasuke ...", I began with a trembling voice, "I wanted to talk to you ... alone ..." He looked at me with a skeptical look, but still followed me into the nearby lake. The sun went down and dipped the lake in a red-orange, which I hadn't seen for too long.
"What do you want from me?", Came his cold and merciless voice from behind me. "I wanted ... I wanted ... to tell you ..." I started in a lower voice."Now finally get to the point!" He commanded me. "I ... well ... I ..." I just couldn't. "Don't stammer around like that! Come back with the language!", He said in a voice that read absolutely no objection. "I ... love you ..." I whispered very quietly, making sure that he didn't hear me and just pulled away. "What?" He asked, perplexed. "I don't think so! That is definitely one of your uncomfortable jokes again! You can fool yourself. Leave me alone and never come to me again. I ..." he broke off and went up the hill, out disappearing from my field of vision.
My life was finally over. I should have known. But I did it to finally find a reason for my inner self to overcome myself and jump. The sky sent a gust of wind and it ran through me with all its might. My open jacket, like my hair, was blowing in the wind. I stared out at the lake.My reflection looked at me from the shallow water. I saw tears run down my face without realizing it. I didn't know what was happening to me because I hadn't cried in a while. Not in front of other people, only when I was alone with myself. Only then did I put on my mask, which consisted only of pretended happiness and optism, and I was myself. The sun had long since set when I got out of my trance. How long had I been standing here? I did not know it.
Now I began to watch my end.
I walked slowly up the hill, dusk was already awakening and it was getting darker. Inside and around me. Everything got darker, colder and lonelier. There were only a few people left on the streets, so I rarely met them. I went through the forest, out to my cliff. But she wouldn't be mine for much longer. I heard rustling behind me, but I didn't care if an enemy ninja killed me now, I wouldn't fight back.I didn't care if my jump, a kunai, or the hand of my enemy made me cease to exist. It wouldn't make a difference anyway. I would no longer have a life. I ignored the noise and walked on through the forest, carefully not looking back. I hoped it wasn't anyone who tried to stop me in the end. But then I heard nothing more. I was slowly beginning to forget that there was anyone behind me at all.
When I stepped out of the forest, the half-full moon was already shining towards me and greeting me in its own way, quietly and peacefully. I believed that he would watch me all day and night. He was there, no matter where and how and when. He was the only one I could count on to stay with me. He wasn't even a human being, but I confided more to him in lonely hours than to any other living figure from my life. But then dark clouds moved in front of the shining splendor and it was as if he wanted to hide from me.Or did he not want to face my end? I did not know it. I looked sadly up at the sky and the first raindrops fell gently on my face. As before, the salty tears were rolling down my cheeks. I didn't notice my own tears mingling with those of heaven. I inhaled the heavy rain air again, now I was ready to jump and say goodbye to my only cruel and lonely life. I looked down into the rushing waves. I had now realized that it was over immediately. With ALL. With the wonderful expanse of the forests, the warmth of the sun, with the endless water and with the cruel, sad loneliness.
* Flashback end

Now the moment had come when I, Naruto Uzumaki, would jump off the cliff and no longer live on earth. So jumped and ended my life.

Sasuke stood on the cliff and couldn't believe that his teammate, who had admitted his love a few hours ago, had thrown himself into his death.He was late. He wanted to tell him something else, he still wanted to tell him so much. Not just his own feelings for him, but so much more, the rest of his life, everything. He was frozen with shock. He only looked down from above at the roaring and rushing masses of water in which his friend had drowned. The icy wind whipped raindrops in his face and he awoke from his shock.
The black-haired man ran down the path to the water that led there from the cliff. He did not see Naruto's body, so he jumped into the water. His clothes were so soaked anyway that it made no difference. He saw the body of his former teammate sink to the bottom and dived to it, brought it to the surface and came up again, gasping for air. Imbued with a new strength, he carried his lover's body ashore and laid it carefully and carefully on the grass. It was still pouring rain.Naruto's face lay peacefully in front of him, as if he were just sleeping. Then felt the grief as the rain spread over him.
Crystal clear drops ran like an unstoppable wave over his cheeks, dripped into the dark grass and were probably the only ones who had ever understood something about his feelings.
Sasuke leaned over the blonde and sealed his lips in a kiss. The only one who would probably stay that way. Sorrowful a quiet 'I love you too ... I'm sorry ... I didn't mean it ...' from the black-haired man's lips before he pulled his kunai and took his own life too. For him it no longer mattered when the blond-haired man was no longer around.
But Naruto could not see those important minutes, that someone had saved him from the floods, that his only love had followed him there because of his death and that someone had shed tears over his death.



* have tons of handkerchiefs ready *did you like it ???
I hope so...
I look forward to commissioners and criticism from you!

I wrote a bad end because I think the happy end is really nice .. but the bad end was better ..
but if the demand for a happy ending for these OS is high, then i will write it too!

Many thanks to my beta reader Gaarasteddy, who was so kind to read this OS beta, because without her it would have been a terrible spelling ..

HEGGGGGG ~ DL + LG your Tenshi-Karorinu
(previously Dying_Nightmare)