Title: Do you love me? Or do you hate me
Subtitle: Why are you hurting me like that?

Pairing: Hiro x Takao
Part: 1 / of expected 3 (to 4)

Disclaimer:
Vivre, c'est apprendre á aimer.
To live is to learn to love.


Note: The grandfather of Hiro and Takao is already dead in this fan fic, not that you are surprised ^^


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Do you love me? Or do you hate me

Mr. Dickenson just arrived at the Kinomiyas dojo with Hillary to inquire whether the Blade Breakers had properly prepared for the upcoming tournament that will take place in Germany in a few days. He didn't really worry because everyone was on fire when he told them about it, especially Takao almost bursting with impatience. Hiro had offered himself as a coach so that Kai could train and prepare properly. But as soon as Mr. Dickenson came into the forecourt of the property, he heard two people arguing violently."Damn it, Takao, how many times have I told you today that you should make an effort now, huh?" If you fight like that in the preliminary rounds - if I can even call it that - then an amateur will kick you out of the arena immediately and that's it for the world championship. Finito, that's it, Fin, Basta, off and over, '' Hiro yelled at his brothers, beside himself.
“Sometimes I really wonder how you could become world champion. Even Kenny would surely win against you that bad you are, '' he snapped.

"That's enough for me now," Takao yelled angrily back. "Since you offered yourself as a coach and we have also accepted you, no matter what I do, you have always had something to complain about with my techniques. You insult me ​​all the time, you are just dissatisfied with me, although Max makes a lot more mistakes and has in his strategy, in contrast to me. Besides, if I'm such a bad blader why are you trying so hard, huh?''

Hiro snorted contemptuously, put his hands on his hips, and started to answer sharply.
"I try so hard with you because I don't want to be embarrassed about you at the World Cup ... and I'm related to something like that."

That sat. Takao thought he had misheard, how could his brother say such a thing?
His heart ached and he had the feeling that at any moment it would shatter into a thousand splinters. Did his brother hate him that much?
As soon as he's been treating him lately, he even believed it, but why?
What was he doing wrong? He did love Hiro.
He looked at Hitoshi with eyes wide with shock and horror. Not only Takao, no also Max, Ray, Kenny, even Kai couldn't believe what Hiro had just uttered. And he didn't even seem to regret his words as soon as he looked at his little brother.
Speechless and still shocked, he stood in front of Hiro, Dragoon, who had fallen out of his hand and was now lying in the dirt, didn't interest him.His broken heart and broken soul ached too much.

"I understand," whispered Takao with bowed head, who could only convulsively hold back his tears. He didn't want to do Hiro a favor and start crying in front of his teammates, who he didn't care at all at the moment. He turned and ran away, leaving Dragoon in the dirt. Hiros shouted that he should kindly stop, he ignored, he couldn't take any more insults. He was physically and mentally at the end. He just wanted to get away ... get away ... get away.
He turned the corner and almost ran over the startled Mr. Dickenson. Hillary, who looked at him pityingly, because she noticed his tears running down his cheeks, he ignored him. He wanted to leave and just kept running.


“Hiro, don't you think you exaggerated this time? , '' Max wanted to know, who still couldn't believe what he had just heard.
The latter did not even think of answering Max's questions, but kindly ordered the others to continue training.Just at that moment, Mr. Dickenson came around the corner with Hillary - who immediately went to Max to find out what was going on with Takao because she had seen him cry.

"Hello Mr. Dickenson," Hiro greeted her sponsor.
"Tag Hiro, are you having any problems right before this tournament? ''
"Not worth mentioning," Hiro waved off the question.
Mr. Dickenson looks at him suspiciously. ° Seems like I have to intervene. Having an argument with the brothers 3 days before the tournament is not good. They cannot win as a team if Takao is not in the fight with his thoughts. I already have an idea. °


Kenny had picked up Dragoon during the conversation, took it apart and first polished it clean again.


"I see it differently," protested Mr. Dickenson and called the other team members over. "Here are the tickets for the flight to Germany, your flight leaves tomorrow morning at 8:00 am," he explained and handed over the tickets to Kai, Max, Ray, Kenny and Hillary, who flew the tickets as organic support.Then he turned back to Hiro. "You and Takao, you will get along for the time being and take the flight at 8:00 am on the day of the tournament, that is, you will be flying to it in 2 days. You both have been in Berlin, the venue of the World Cup, at around 3 p.m. A little late but we can make the preliminary rounds without Takao, do you understand me? , '' he asked and now handed Hiro two tickets as well.
But Hiro didn't want to see why he should come with Takao two days later, since there wasn't a serious problem.
“There must be a problem. I don't know the reason, but you and your brother have fallen out and you two will sort it out on your own. That's why you're going to come and I don't want to hear any contradiction. `` With that he turned to the others because he had nothing more to say to Hiro. "And you can go home now and rest a little, it will be a busy day for you tomorrow."Everyone agreed and set off. Mr. Dickenson gave Hiro another warning and then made his way back to his office at the BBA, after all he had to do some paperwork.


Meanwhile, Takao had run to the river where Hiro had given him the kappie that he loved so much. Tired of running, he sat down on the grass, took the cap in his hands and looked at it sadly.
,, What happened to us Hiro? I don't understand why you've been treating me like dirt lately. Do you hate me so much? '' He spoke softly to himself. A low sob escaped his throat, which grew into more and more. He pulled his knees up, laid his head on them and again began to cry the pain from his soul unrestrainedly.
“Why do you hate me so much? '' He asked himself again. “I'm in love with her and it hurts to know that it's not allowed. But it hurts me even more to know that you will never feel the same for me.You really hate me now, I can see that in your eyes, which have despised me considerably in the last few days, but your words today have finished me off. I just simply can not anymore. Why Hiro, why? DAMN AGAIN, WHY ONLY? , '' he shouted his doubts at the sky and sank down again, sad and mute, on the grass.


Hiro was now standing alone in the garden with the two tickets in hand. His eyes, which had just burst with strength and conviction, were now empty and filled with suffering, pain and sorrow. Sighing, he looked at the tickets in his hand, thought of his brother, whom he had hurt again and on purpose, just because he didn't want to or couldn't accept his feelings, his true feelings towards him. Finally, dejected, he went into the living room, where he sat down and tried to find a solution, a final one. He didn't want to hurt his brother anymore because it broke his heart every time he treated him like dirt.He hated himself ... yeah, he really hated himself for it. Why did he have to fall in love with him after all these years ... with him ... HIM ... his own brother?
“After all, it is not allowed and that would never be seen in society. Takao doesn't deserve to be despised by others. It is probably best if I go to the World Cup ... forever ... even if it is difficult for me. ''
Yes, it was probably the only solution left for both of them. Takao would certainly be happy without him, he was pretty sure of that. At first he would feel alone, abandoned, but he would get over it. After all, he had his friends who would build him up again when he left.
The reason he wanted to do all of this was because he knew the feelings Takao had for him ... Yes, he knew his little brother loved him as much as he loved him. But he had no choice but to leave him ... for good.A gay couple was not looked at, let alone two loving brothers ... that was not only not accepted but also despised. This was also the reason why he treated Takao so meanly lately. He wanted his brother to hate him so that it wouldn't be so difficult for him if he suddenly wasn't there after the World Cup. It was better that way for both of them, but mostly for his younger brother.
Hiro sighed in agony.
"I'm sorry little one, so sorry," he muttered softly. “I don't want to hurt you, but I have no other choice. I didn't mean to make you cry and yet I did. I didn't want to break you, I would rather protect you, hold you tight and never let go and yet I have allowed myself to break your heart. I wanted to hold you and yet I let you fall into the abyss ... you, whom I love more than anything in the world ... you, my angel ... you ... Takao.I hope that someday you will forgive me. ''
When he had said this, which weighed deeply on his heart, he looked the whole time at Dragoon, who was lying on the table that Kenny had put there before he left. And in front of his inner eye the whole time he saw his laughing, happily shining brother with his pure, deep sea-blue eyes shining with innocence.


At the same time by the river, a young man, alone and abandoned, decided to go home with a tearful face and reddened eyes. He just wanted to go to bed and forget ... forget everything. But he knew one thing, he would surely meet his brother again, who