The sky was a brilliant blue. There was a colorful carpet of flowers in the meadows and birds filled the air. Couples used this beautiful first day of summer for trips together and joy was in everyone's heart. This day seemed to come from a picture book and everywhere people and animals enjoyed the warming rays of the sun, and the warmth penetrated into the hearts.
But not in one. This heart remained cold, unresponsive to all the warmth. For the person none of this was important, the sun, the birdsong, the flowers ... It was all the same to her, because in her heart the world was nothing but gray and empty.
Without any recognizable emotion, she stood in front of a black stone tablet; situated on a high slope in the middle of a mountain range.
There was an engraving on the tablet, only three lines long. But these lines had a meaning that weighed heavier on the heart of this one person than the entire mountain range could have.In the cold black of the blackboard, the empty eyes of the person who looked continuously at what was written on it were reflected.
At the very top was a name, with two years numbers below it. The only ornament was a coat of arms. At first glance it looked like a knight's shield, but this symbol belonged to something else. It was the coat of arms of the Garlyle troops; a private army of once great proportions.
Today was the first time that this person stood in that place and looked at the blackboard. When this was set up several months ago, the square had been full of people, but now this place was surrounded by solitude, as if it reflected the heart of the person who stood here today.
The silent visitor closed his eyes and thought of what had happened back then. To the reason for which this cold stone slab was now erected in the middle of a deserted area. All too clearly she could see everything in front of her, even hear the voices ...


[i]"It stays that way, Leen! You won't come with me."
"B-but Colonel Mullen, it should ... it should be the last one ..."
The young officer turned and met Leen's eyes. His own looked cool and determined, but there was also a certain gentleness hidden in them.
"You haven't fully recovered from what happened to you. It's a miracle anyway that the spirits were able to give you your life back. So please don't put your health at risk unnecessarily."
"But ... I ... want to be there ..."
"What we have in mind today is not very important. Please take care of yourself so that you can be by my side for the final ceremony tomorrow."
Mullen stepped up to Leen and put a hand on her shoulder.
"We'll hurry up. I'll come back as soon as I can, you have my word. And you take a rest now."
A fine blush showed on Leen's face and she nodded.
"Understood. I won't overexert myself. But please, let me come with you!"Mullen's face lost some of its gentleness.
"That won't do Leen. In your current condition it would be too dangerous. You stay here."
"I'll be careful! Let me go with you !!"
"No way!"
Leen winced when the Colonel suddenly became loud. Mullen turned his back on her and fixed the exit.
"The operation will take place without you, Leen. You will stay here and relax."
The blonde began to move slowly, and with each step he approached the door. Leen was still standing in the same spot and watching him go. Without wanting it, some tears ran down her face.
"Why ...? Why don't you allow me to be on the mission? Why don't you allow me to be with you?"
Mullen paused, hand on the handle. It seemed like an eternity to Leen, standing there and not moving, still with his back on her.
"Because you couldn't keep your word and would strain yourself to be with me.I'm sorry."
Before a word of reply could be uttered, the colonel disappeared from the room. Leen held out a hand toward the door as if to call him back, unable to move himself. Without the tears running dry, she finally sank to the ground and had to support herself with her hands. Her testimonies of her grief fell to the ground, shimmering like pearls. She couldn't say why she was crying. She felt lonely, and while her mind told her it was right for Mullen to leave her here, her heart told her something completely different.
How long Leen had sat on the floor she couldn't tell later. At some point she got up and went to the door. Only after a brief hesitation did she turn the handle and leave the room.
She was all the more surprised when she found a flower in front of her own door. A squill. As a child she dealt a lot with plants, their healing effects and meanings.'Do you forgive me?' was the meaning of this. Leen picked it up and studied the flower for a while. Long ago she had spoken to Mullen about what the various plants said. Did he actually remember what she had told him? A smile returned to her face.
"Of course ..." she said softly and gently hugged the plant.



The soldier who was called out to deliver the news stood with heavy hearts at the door of Lieutenant Leen's premises. He had just returned, although he was in a terrible hurry, but when he stood in front of this door he had lost all courage and he wished he was somewhere else, wished that one of his comrades was here with him, but he did was alone and now he had to report whether he wanted to or not.
He knocked on the door.
"Come on," it sounded softly from inside. That only made his heart heavier. Hesitantly he turned the handle and walked three steps and then he salluted.Leen stood by the window and turned to him. She had her warm smile on her face again and looked at him waiting.
Now he wished even more than before that he didn't have to be here. How could he make this report? That was too much!
"I was called out as a messenger by the team that took care of the military remains in the mountains."
"Please, your report?"
That smile again. That only made things harder.
"We eliminated everything. Then we went back. During this phase we were attacked by a group of monsters. There was a fight, but we were victorious."
"Were there any wounded?" Leen asked worriedly. The soldier shook his head.
"No, Lieutenant. No wounded. But the path we were walking on was damaged by the fight, so we had to reach safe terrain in a hurry. The Colonel made sure that everything went well, but before he was safe himself, part of the way collapsed and fell into the depths. "Instantly Leen froze. The soldier was sure that her heart stopped for a moment.
"The-The Colonel ... is he ...?"
"He fell into the gorge along with the rock. We wanted to send a rescue team out, but the rocks at the point were too steep and too deep. Colonel Mullen could not have survived the fall. He is dead."
As if this sentence had extinguished all noises, there was an instant icy silence in the room. Leen just stood there, looking at him.
"No," Leen whispered after an almost endless moment.
“It was unexpected. Colonel Mullen lost his life in the performance of his duty.
"No," Leen repeated as if she hadn't heard him at all.
"The command of the troops goes to you. What are your orders?" The soldier was amazed at his own words. He couldn't believe it himself yet; still saw the picture in front of him as if in slow motion when the ground collapsed and the colonel fell with him without a chance."No. That ... is not true." Leen shook her head violently. "That's not true! It's a lie! The colonel doesn't die! Especially not by falling into a ravine!"
"Lieutenant Leen ..."
"That's not true!No! Nooooo!"
Leen ran towards the door, her face streaked with tears. In doing so, she bumped into a table. A vase tipped over and fell to the floor. With a clang, the porcelain shattered and the water spread over the floor. A single blue flower lay between the shards.
At that moment the soldier cursed the fate that had forced him to deliver this message to Leen.



A wind rose and began to play with the strands of Leen's hair.
It was all the same to her. Just as everything was the same to her now. When she received the news of Mullen's death, she had felt an infinite grief. She hadn't wanted to admit it and hadn't spoken to anyone. The Mullen funeral and the disbanding of the troops, both of which had taken place without her.Not even Feena had been able to give her comfort. As the grief turned into knowledge, she felt this unbearable loneliness within herself and she had repeatedly toyed with the idea of ​​ending her own life. It was only when her sister noticed that she had dismissed the thought. She couldn't cause her sister the same grief. All that remained was emptiness and indifference. Her smile had disappeared along with all her feelings - joy, sadness, anger, loneliness. Time and again, friends and acquaintances had tried to help her, to get her thinking differently and to elicit at least some emotion from her.
Vain.
Her heart and soul seemed to have followed Mullen.
"In time you will get over it," they said. How could she ever do that without forgetting him?
'Let the past rest,' they said. How could she let the past rest when the future had been destroyed in her?'Mullen wouldn't want you to lose your courage for his sake,' they said. It was he who had given her hold, he had been the reason she hadn't broken earlier. Now he was gone, and with him everything that kept her in this world.
She couldn't even tell him that she wasn't angry with him for not letting her go.
She had set off that morning without knowing why or where. Only when she saw the black board did she know where she was going.
She hadn't made up her mind, and yet she was here. In the place where the one who gave her heart died. She had no sense of time for how long she was here, but the sun kept moving across the sky.
Then, very slowly, she stepped back from the table and stood against the abyss. She stood right on the edge and looked down.
The blue-haired woman closed her eyes and listened inward. Now there