For a long time Ran did not dare to put her letter in the Kudos mailbox. Inwardly she was already desperate about it and sometimes she wished that little Conan would be back again. He was so carefree and had given her help in moments like this. He always knew what she was about to do and what Shinichi would think about it afterwards, no wonder, the two were one and the same person after all. Thoughtful and sometimes unhappy, Ran finally pocketed the letter. After this landed in the small square box, however, the girl became desperate. Now she found that it hadn't been such a good idea after all, she quickly tried to fish it out, which she definitely couldn't. No matter what she did, she wouldn't be able to get the little letter out of the box. It must have been fate, the work of God. Ran shuddered at the thought. Wasn't it enough that she learned that her idol, Sharon Vineyard, had worked for this mysterious organization? Now she remembered his words againIs that just a saying or do you think that there is a God. If there really was such a thing as God, then surely all people who strive to do good in their lives should be happy or not? But that is not the case, I have not been smiled at by any angel in my entire life ... There is no God, otherwise he would not have let the Savior think he was hurt. The whole time she had heard these sentences in her ear canal, still at the same volume as Sharon spoke them at the time.
"Why ...", Ran mumbled softly. She looked a little dejected and made her way home the moment Shinichi came out of the house.
"Ran," Shinichi held out his hand. He knew he couldn't believe her, but he had tried anyway, it had been a reflex, an attempt.His gaze was directed to the mailbox, where his girlfriend had previously been, so he walked up to it without hesitation, opened it and found her letter.
"Oh Ran, I'm so sorry," Shinichi was already saying to himself. He wished the girl was next to him, he wished he could tell her personally. Every time he saw Ran sad, he collapsed inside, every time he felt worse ...

Dear Ran,
this will be the last letter to you. I won't be able to manage another one.
I'm sorry for what I did to you. I can only assure you that I would like to undo it if only I could. I have often asked myself what would have happened back then if I hadn't followed this man in Tropical Land. I think everything would have stayed the same and we would continue to do normal things together, we would have fun and I would tell you again about my cases, but also about Sherlock Holmes, everything would be normal as always.

Ran, I know how bad it was for you. It was bad for me too, I would even say at this point that it was even worse than it was for you. I've suffered every time I saw you cry, when I saw you suffer, and when I saw you so vulnerable and fragile. I always just wanted to hug you, comfort you and tell you that I'm with you after all. The whole time I wanted to tell you, but the consequences for you would have been enormous. I just couldn't bring myself to do it, but just like that, my heart couldn't see you suffer anymore. Believe me, had there been a way back then to initiate you into everything, I would have done it.

It is true Sharon was one of them, I cannot tell you that I am wrong. It is the truth and you know 'There is always only one truth' even if it is difficult for many people to grasp, this one truth only exists.I tried to hide the fact that Sharon works with them and that she is still alive. I thought it would just be easier for you if you believed this. No matter what you think about your idol now, she would not have let you endanger yourself. Only later did I find out from the FBI why this was the case, you were her 'Angel' and I was called a 'Cool Guy' by her. Back then, when she met us both in New York, she was grateful. Sharon noticed that there were angels and that you are also one where I cannot contradict her at all. You should continue to see Sharon as your idol, someone who lived for acting, someone you trusted. Even if I had to work against her and had to try to get to the organization through her and her boss, I don't want you to hate her for me. You got to know her very differently than I did then and you should keep these thoughts.

I know how it is for you I myself no longer expected that I would ever be myself again, but I was lucky and I was helped. I'm so happy that everything went well, so happy to be able to live as a normal teenager again. But what is normal anyway? It sure isn't my life anymore, not after what happened, not after I hurt you so much.
Ran, tell me, if I had told you back then that I was Shinichi, what would you have thought at that moment? What would you have done?
I think you would not have understood it, you might even have hidden in your room, not believed me and in time you would have understood all of this after all. I can well imagine that you would not have come to terms with the whole thing, you would start to hate the organization for what it did and maybe even get into their trajectory because of that. I had to prevent that.I didn't want you to become a person who would start hating others for the things they did and I didn't want you to be reminded every day of what happened to me.
It was enough for me to see how you were doing when I wasn't there, but it would have been worse for you if you had looked at me every day knowing that I was Shinichi. I would have made you cry just by my presence and brought you so much suffering.
Even if you won't understand it, I'm glad I didn't tell you anything, because I was able to keep all the suffering away from you. It had just been better for me not to have to bear your gaze, that gaze that expressed all the sadness you were feeling at the moment. Believe me, it was just better for you and when you didn't know where I was all this time, it was easier for you too. You had hoped that I would come back to you soon, I just couldn't take that hope away from you. If I had told you that Conan and Shinichi are the same person, then your hope of my return would have been lost with a wink.
For this reason I asked everyone who knew who I really was not to tell you anything. We've all had a hard time keeping the truth from you, but if you think about it, you'd better find it that way. Surely you didn't want to open your eyes every morning and think about the fact that I sleep in the room next door as an elementary school student. No, you definitely wouldn't go through that. Even if you always showed your strength and courage in front of everyone, you are different inside. You are vulnerable and you would have died because of it.

Please believe me, I wanted to tell you all this personally, but I just couldn't bring myself to say it back then. I was scared and it wasn't the first time.Whenever you were involved in a case, I was always afraid for you. You are and always will be the most important thing in my life, if you were even in danger, I would give my life for you so that you could get out of danger, you know that too, Ran.
I admit it was a mistake on my part to think that I could do everything on my own and take the consequences for my actions on my own, but now I realize that it is not so.
You're right, I'm a detective, and I've done what I hated so much. I lied and kept getting caught up in these. I thought that was the only way I could do it all, just protect you. I know I am repeating myself, but for everything I have ever done, you have been my cause. I can already guess what you're saying to yourself. You are close to freaking out because I put you forward as a reason, but the way it is, I acted for you so that you can at least be happy.

Ran, I'm scared, I'm scared to face you and read your pain in them again. I don't want to see you suffer like that when you see me and I'm scared of what you have to say to me. And yet, still I dare. I dare and will come under your eyes to tell you only one thing.
As you have probably already noticed, the letter is nearing its end and therefore I will end it here and now ...

The letter stopped abruptly at this point, apart from the few dots at the end there was nothing left. Neither another page, nor a final greeting or signature from him.[i]Break up, the word kept pounding on Ran's ears. Again and again she said to hear that word, all the time. Ran slowly got scared, would Shinichi harm himself? Would he go out of her life forever? Or would he take back his declaration of love?Even with these thoughts, she had felt like she was hearing every single word in this letter, almost as if Shinichi was reading it to her.Nonsense, Ran said to himself and shook his head.
"But why doesn't the letter go on? He wanted to step in front of my eyes to tell me something ... what is it?" Ran mumbled quietly to himself. Actually, she had been home alone. She was sitting in the living room after she found the letter in the mailbox and yet she didn't feel alone here. Slowly she had the feeling to perceive the breath of another person behind her, but she did it again as a stroke of her senses.
"I love you, Ran," said a familiar voice.
Ran was startled, she hadn't expected that. Suddenly she turned backwards. Inwardly she hoped that she wasn't imagining it and that it was all real. She even prayed that it was really Shinichi who was standing behind her. And then she saw him. At first she wondered how he got into the apartment, but then she thought again that as Conan he surely still had the key.
"Shinichi ...", tears slowly ran down her cheeks. At first it was a river of tears and at the end it flowed into a few drops.
"Don't cry, my Ran," Shinichi pleaded. He just couldn't stand it when she cried, both then and now. With a small smile on his lips, he took her in his arms. "I promise you, I won't leave you alone ... never again." Shinichi gently stroked her back, it was soothing and tender.