Hi first! I know, I haven't heard from me for a long time, and yet I'm putting the next chapter on! Hopefully one or the other will like it.
Well, then have fun!!


The alarm clock woke me up. Confused, I looked around my room. I'd never really been a morning person, but if I got really drunk the night before, I was obnoxious all day. I grumbled and pulled the covers over my head, but the penetrating ringing just didn't stop. Cursing softly to myself, I threw away the covers and started looking for the source of the noise. Looking around, I frowned. That wasn't my room, it was ...
"Be!" I shouted when I saw my best friend sitting on the floor next to the bed, alarm clock in hand. And if I could allow myself a comment: he looked terrible. Of course I am not entitled to such a criticism at the moment, because I certainly did not look any better myself, but still ... He looked less hungover and more tired than ever. Hadn't he slept last night? I tried to remember details, but my mind just didn't want to get sharp images. I slowly sat up and rubbed my eyes. Then I looked again at Sei, who had turned off the alarm in the meantime.
"Be? What's going on? Why don't you sleep like any other normal person after this binge?" Ui, my voice croaked like crazy. Did I scream so loud yesterday that she was as good as gone? Or had I even ... sung ?! I didn't even want to think about it.
"Come on, get up and get dressed. You have to go home immediately, Matsuo."
I was about to stretch when I froze in the middle of the movement. Matsuo? She had never called me that before! What was that supposed to mean now? A shiver ran down my spine.
"What? Why?" I asked uncertainly. Did something happen?With his family? Or even mine? Panicked, I jumped out of bed, lost my balance - due to the residual alcohol - and fell on my knees in front of Sei. "What's going on? Has something happened?" My voice sounded slightly hysterical. Now, for the first time today, he looked me in the eyes. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I was unable to put it any other way - Be looked broken. Until then, I could never imagine anything using that expression. "He was a broken man," it was said in many novels and films. I always asked myself: why was it broken? How did you know that? Was it his gestures? His attitude? His choice of words? How did you know someone was broken? Well, when I saw my best friend, I knew.
His eyes - his beautiful ocean-colored eyes - were blank. The irises, usually beaming with joy, stared at me dully. His constant smile had gone pale, lips pressed together in a line. The wonderful light blonde hair, which otherwise stood so cheeky in all directions and drove you to white heat, hung down dull. His baritone voice, which was friendly to everyone but only spoke so lovingly to me, had given way to monotony. His warm hands, which usually tousled gently through my hair, suddenly looked cold as they lay there in his lap. What the hell happened I noticed my eyes fill with tears, but I didn't care. I had to know what was going on here and I needed to know right now!
"Be, what's the matter? Please, talk to me!" I begged him, I begged my best friend! Never before have I had to sink so low and beg him all seriously to speak to me! Why wasn't he talking to me? I hadn't done anything wrong! Or? Suddenly it fell like scales from my eyes: I was drunk last night as never before in my life, had I done something bad?"S-Be, did I do anything wrong yesterday? I can't remember anything, but no matter what I did - I'm sorry! Please don't be mad at me!"
I thought I saw a brief flicker in Sei's eyes that made me recognize my old best friend. But that only lasted seconds, after that his oceans were dull again, yes, emotionless.
"Shut up and finally put them on. You should go home! And before I forget - never speak to me again from today or even let me see you, understand ?!" He almost screamed these words, he was angry and yet cold too. His words broke something deep inside me, he had to hear it! If a two hundred story high-rise made of pure glass had been shattered, it couldn't have been louder than this something that shattered inside of me. Now the tears ran down my cheeks inexorably. My lips began to tremble, slowly I reached out my hands to Sei.
"Why ... are you doing that? Be, why?" My sobs grew louder, I only noticed my best friend through a veil of tears. Just before my hands reached Sei's shoulders, he caught them. His grip on my wrists was as hard as steel and his hands, as suspected, icy. His gaze bored into my eyes, the oceans were cold. He hurt me. I didn't mean the pain in my wrists, no, I didn't really care. But that he looked at me like that, with eyes that exuded such coldness ... It hurt me. That something that had broken inside me before stirred again. It was as if someone were jumping around on the broken glass so that I would really remember the pain. But could something become a memory that would cause me terrible agony every day of my life from now on? Because I knew that for sure - even if all this was just a bad joke or be normal again soon - a remnant of this pain would accompany me from now on for my life."Why?" I whispered again. "Be, why only?"
Suddenly Sei's eyes narrowed to narrow slits. "Stop it! Stop it, understand? Don't ask why! Damn it, just stop asking, it's no use! I won't answer you anyway. ... Never."
What was that supposed to mean? What was the point of all this? My sandpit friend suddenly didn't want to see me anymore. I wasn't even allowed to speak to him anymore. He was cold and dismissive to me for no apparent reason. In any case, I couldn't think of any. Or did he have one after all? Did I do something yesterday? I drew my eyebrows together - she always called it "Yu's little thinker forehead" - my brain ran at full speed. Yesterday had been a strange day anyway, it was quite strange. First he hit someone, then he cried and wished for the first time - the ALL first time - a hug from me for my birthday. Despite these strange events, the evening had turned out to be quite funny. The short detour to Sei's uncle, who supplied us with alcohol, and then the shooting star that carried our wishes with it, made us quickly forget what had happened at school. I could still remember emptying my fifth bottle of beer and then switching to vodka - the very thought of it made me sick - but from then on my brain was empty. Maybe in my drunk state I had said something stupid and mean to him?
Just as I was about to apologize for whatever, Sei addressed his word to me. "You Baka didn't do anything, so stop this stupid brooding, Yu."
My eyes went wide. Even if what I just said wasn't particularly nice, Si's voice had softened a bit - or was it just my imagination? But he also called me by my nickname!That must mean something! With a determined look, I moved towards Sei on my knees. He raised an eyebrow, but he didn't try to keep my distance. The alarm clock that heralded the beginning of this terrible day was still in Sei's hand.
When my knees almost touched Seis, I stopped. For minutes we stared into each other's eyes in silence, which were very different at the moment - Seis still exuded an emotionless coldness, while my eyes had to blaze like fire with wild determination.
"Is that a bad joke, Sei?" I tried again. "Tell me. If this is supposed to be one of your pranks, believe me, it's NOT FUNNY!" Okay, actually I wanted to stay calm, but considering the circumstances, I was still loud.
"Ts, forget it. I'm dead serious, Matsuo," he snorted contemptuously. Now my collar burst. I literally pounced on Sei and grabbed his T-shirt with my left hand.
"Wh- ?!" he cried out in surprise. I hit him in the face with my right hand clenched in a fist. The alarm clock flew out of his hand as he tried to catch his - or actually our - fall with his hands. With a thud, he landed on his back, and not a second later I was lying on top of him. I had probably got a little too much momentum ...
As we lay there so quietly, my nose almost touched the ground and I felt Sei's cheek on mine, the thought came over me that now the time should stand still. I was with Sei and there were no bad words - at least for the moment. That was all that mattered to me. I felt my eyes slowly close and my body relax. Suddenly I felt my heart beating clearly in my right chest at an accelerated pace. Wait ... Hearts usually beat in the left chest, don't they? Had I slept again in Bio? My body also rose and fell at rapid intervals.At the moment I was breathing very calmly because I felt very comfortable around Seis!
And then it suddenly dawned on me. It wasn't me who was breathing so hard and also not my heart trying to get ten beats per second…. No, it was Sei. His body acted like it had just finished a marathon. But why? Was he so mad at me? Okay, I hit him, but he deserved it! … Oh my God! I had beaten you! I HAPPED IT !!! Well, we had a lot of wrangling behind us, but we never really beat each other! At least until now. I could understand when he was mad at me. But I couldn't be sure of his state of mind until I saw his eyes. So I took all my courage, put my hands on the side of Sei and slowly rose, but only so far that my face hovered a few millimeters above Seis. And what I could read in it took my breath away for a moment.
Seis mouth was a little open in astonishment, he was quite red around the nose and his eyes radiated pure confusion. But there was something else to read in them, something I had never seen before in his eyes. It wasn't anger, no, and it couldn't be surprise either. Nobody had ever looked at me like that, with eyes like that… They held mine captive, I just couldn't look away. If only I knew what that expression meant! But one thing I could say for sure: this look made me shiver all over my body.
You noticed very well that I was trembling. His expression, which was no longer so tough, softened and