My other FF "My deepest secret" is now so far that they meet Gaara. Naruto was with Gaara, as FF readers know. That's why I wanted to provide some background information. Of course I could have just put something under a chapter, but that was too easy for me. That's how I got the idea to write this. If you haven't read "My deepest secret", you should only do so after this FF has been completed.
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It had been almost four years since I last saw him. When he went to Orochimaru that time, he broke my heart. He was never just a friend to me, nor was he my best friend. Whenever I saw him I had to hold back my saliva. I almost fell on him once. He looked too good too. The black, silky hair, the muscular body and those incredible eyes. If it weren't for that embarrassing kiss back then, I might not think that way about him now. But what was I kidding myself, I still fell in love with him. Maybe because of much the same fate. We had both always been loners, more or less voluntarily. He because he was "admired" by the people of Konoha and didn't want their help at all. He showed them that too. I always wanted to have friends, or at least to be looked after a little, but the fourth generation Hokage, my father, had Kyuubi sealed in me, which made people fearful of me. Of course I was never a danger to them, but they missed the way I felt. Sasuke Uchiha and I Naruto Uzumaki had always been alone. I, Naruto Uzumaki, loved the one who shared my fate. Yes, I was in love with a boy and of course I was and still am one. He would never return my love, because he chose a life without the feeling that could make you happy and sad and a feeling that gave courage and security.I didn't want to live without this feeling, that much was certain.


Repeating these thoughts over and over again, I finally decided to show the sun, which had annoyed me for its friendliness for half an hour, that I was awake. Easier said than done. My eyelids twitched a few times until I finally opened my eyes completely. Bright lights greeted me, causing me to get out of bed with narrowed eyes. When I finally got used to the sunlight I went to my window. I opened it. A warm breeze hit my face, causing a pleasant sigh to escape my throat. I went away again. Bored, I got a black T-shirt and short orange pants and went to the bathroom with them.


I examined myself in the mirror. My hair was disheveled as always, my blue eyes had visibly lost their shine and I had dark circles under my eyes. I finally got through that night without having nightmares. My body was anything but muscular. I was emaciated because I hadn't eaten in days. This was not least due to the nightmares that haunted me every night and made me forget my appetite. I got dressed and decided to go outside, again without breakfast.


Since I looked scary, no one looked at me anymore. It might not have been more pleasant than being stared at all the time, but I really didn't care anymore. I put my hands in my trouser pockets and felt something metallic. I carefully pulled it out and found it was my Konoha headband. I tied it around my neck and just kept walking. I didn't care which way I was going, all I wanted was to kill time. I didn't really care about missions. I had to do them and I did, but they couldn't really satisfy me. Nothing really made me happy anymore."Hey, Naruto!" Came a voice from behind me. I was familiar with her and I turned to face this person with a smile. I didn't smile the way I used to. It was a perfectly normal smile.
"Hey Kiba, what is it that brings you here? Oh Hinata, hello!" I called back. I hadn't noticed the young woman at his side at first. She came running up to me and hugged me happily. I hugged her tightly like I always did. I just shook hands with Kiba.
“So again, what are you doing here?” My curiosity hadn't decreased.
"We're on our way to the Hokage. We have to make a report," said Hinata. After she finally confessed her love to me, she was much more open-minded. I had turned her down, but she had been with Kiba for a few weeks now. The two had always been there for me since my last meeting with Sasuke.
"I'll go with you. I wanted to go to Tsunade anyway." I lied.
We walked side by side for a while without talking.
"Naruto, you look bad. Are you feeling worse again?" Asked Hinata, worried.
“I'm fine, thank you.” I didn't like lying to her, but neither did I want to bother her with my problems all the time.
"Everything Naruto needs is a girlfriend.", Kiba said and patted me on the back. I just nodded my head. Kiba was very convinced of his thesis, which Hinata was not at all. She was silent anyway. I loved her for it. She was a great girl and went well with Kiba. He treated it as if it were made of glass and could break at any moment. I would never have made her happy.


When I got to Tsunade, I knocked. A sleepy "in" from the Hokage made me assume that she had slept in the office again. We entered one by one.
"Ah, Naruto, Kiba, Hinata, nice to see you.", Tsunade whistled. Hinata and Kiba gave their report and we were about to leave when Tsunade said in a calm tone: "Naruto, Hinata, would you stay?Kiba, unfortunately you have to wait outside. "Kiba disappeared behind the door. I would have loved to follow him.
"I have a mission for you. You should bring a scroll to Suna. Stay there for a while. Kankuro, who was here in Konoha for a few days, will accompany you. The scroll is really very important for the two villages. You will Spend the night at Gaara personally. He wanted it that way because Naruto saved his life. ", she reported.
"Hinata, you can go. Naruto, I need to talk to you." The blue-haired Kunoichi went outside and I began to wonder what everyone wanted from me today.
"You look bad," she stated with concern.
"You too," I said with a smile. She was clearly pissed off now, but she hadn't hit me in a long time.
"Apparently you haven't eaten for a while and you haven't slept either," she said while looking me up and down. Her expression grew even more worried.
"How long are you going to mourn him afterwards, boy? He's gone and definitely won't be back."
Furious, I stormed out of the office and made my way home. That was the day I lost hope.

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I hate this FF. Hopefully you at least like them. Please write me a dear or less dear comment. As always, death threats will go to my secretary.