It was an ordinary and negative day like everyone else. In a bad mood
I got out of bed. My black hair tousled ........ I had dark circles
because I hardly got any sleep. Too many worries I would say.
I stretched and yawned loudly. I sat motionless on the bed for two minutes to wake myself up. But that didn't help, on the contrary, I became more sleepy. In order not to fall asleep and miss class, I ran into the bathroom and dipped my face in the cold wet. It was an uncomfortable feeling but the cold freshness kept me awake
Made me alive But unfortunately it couldn't be my negative attitude
Disappear, and also not my "don't feel like living"
Whim. But it didn't go away. Maybe it was really because of this one
Hideous life. To my parents who left me behind just because I was different. Because I didn't dare. Because as a boy I just failed ...
I was a failure, however, without a doubt. But that was no reason to let me down and disappear from my field of vision. It hurt terribly. Just go away and not say a word to me. Not even to leave a letter when I saw other parents with their children ...
You were happy, I wasn't. They had friends, I didn't. You laugh, I don't. With these thoughts I ruined my mood every morning.
"I love too .." I said softly. I skipped breakfast and left the house a little earlier. The dark street was long, it led straight to my school. I liked the darkness, it was so intimate and no one could really see me and mock me like z. b "Look an emo !!" I could do without it and I hated it. Trees were on the edge of the
Planted in the pavement they all stood neatly in line. The buds were blooming before I could tell. I enjoyed the rest
and made me believe it was nice ... this silence ... Although I was already pissed off.That calm was all over my head. While I was strolling and thinking I saw HER, she was standing under one of the many trees and staring at the sky. I stamped a little so that she noticed me. She looked over at me.
“Good morning Manuel.” She sounded soft and closed her eyes a little. That made her even cuter. "M..Morning ..." I stuttered. My skin burned, I noticed that immediately. Embarrassed, I looked to the side so I could hide my face. I didn't want her to see that I was a loser and that a girl's smile made me weak. She would think I was a loser. She sure did. I was the victim of bullying in our school.
I was the loser. In all cases she stood up for me. She defended me. Even when the big boys came. They were my age, but they looked much bigger and more muscular. I wasn't against it ... And I couldn't defend myself. But they would hardly beat a girl, especially not if she was so cute ..... Not Lea, not her ... If they dared ... the loser would become a man. I promise by my name. If they hurt her hair, the loser would ......... become a beast. Then I showed no mercy. I want to give Lea what she gives me, she was always there for me, and still is today. I and Lea have known each other since we were little. We were even together in kindergarten, I still loved her, but the love didn't come from both sides ... only from one, mine. It hurt me to see that she got along with other boys, I wanted her only to like me and no one else. Just laughed with me .... just looked at me. But I couldn't ask that of her ... I would never have dared to say something like that to her anyway. I am a sissy. If only I had a little more courage .... like others ........ it was crying. And there was nothing I could do about it. We walked on in silence. Just arrived at school and everyone was staring at me.I felt them from all directions. It was very uncomfortable. They did that
Clear way it was terrible. I feel like I'm on a tray, like they're serving rotten food, that's how they looked at me. My skin burned. It did
hurts terribly. I would love to dig a hole in the ground and never come out. So that nobody could see me, so that nobody could hit and insult me. I just wanted to get out of here ... Right now !! My imagination played with me again. It was stupid ... but what should I do? Time passed quickly, I couldn't concentrate, everything flew past me. Only when I heard Lea's voice did I catch it. No matter what she said, I always listened to her, and my eyes always stayed on her ..... she had her jeans on again and was wearing a dark blue sweater, her dark blonde hair was thick and wavy, it shimmered a little reddish in the sun . Lea had beautiful brown eyes that looked so familiar ...
A slightly blistered skin and a fine snub nose. And when she smiled she had dimples. She had small, fine hands like a fairy's. And I liked her more than anything. That's how I passed my time. The doorbell rang and everyone rushed into the break so that some could not breathe. Just not me, they formed a big circle around me, it was hurtful and repulsive, but practical. So I came to the school yard safe and sound. There were already a lot of students standing there. They chatted and laughed so loudly that one could hardly understand one's own word. I rolled my eyes. Lea, who was standing in front of me, looked worried into the crowd. She was probably looking for her friends.
I didn't want her to go to them because I couldn't go with them. How did it look like when a boy was walking with a group of girls in the school yard? I didn't want them to think I was an idiot who was dragged along and followed because he had no friends. Suddenly Lea took my hand and pulled me away from the crowd.I blushed.
"Pah!" she snorted. I looked at her questioningly for a while. "What's wrong Lea ..?"
I finally asked. "Amy!" she said quickly. I did not understand. "She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with Linda! And she stands there with her and talks!"
"..O..Oh .." I stuttered. But I wasn't interested in these girls' affairs. But I pretended not to disappoint her. The anger was clearly written on her face. So she scared me a little. I grinned so that you become a beast. Then I showed no mercy. I want to give Lea what she gives me, she was always there for me, and still is today. I and Lea have known each other since we were little. We were even together in kindergarten, I still loved her, but the love didn't come from both sides ... only from one, mine. It hurt me to see that she got along with other boys, I wanted her only to like me and no one else. Just laughed with me .... just looked at me. But I couldn't ask that of her ... I would never have dared to say something like that to her anyway. I am a sissy. If only I had a little more courage .... like others ........ it was crying. And there was nothing I could do about it. We walked on in silence. Just arrived at school and everyone was staring at me. I felt them from all directions. It was very uncomfortable. They did that
Clear way it was terrible. I feel like I'm on a tray, like they're serving rotten food, that's how they looked at me. My skin burned. It did
hurts terribly. I would love to dig a hole in the ground and never come out. So that nobody could see me, so that nobody could hit and insult me. I just wanted to get out of here ... Right now !! My imagination played with me again. It was stupid ... but what should I do? Time passed quickly, I couldn't concentrate, everything flew past me. Only when I heard Lea's voice did I catch it.No matter what she said, I always listened to her, and my eyes always stayed on her ..... she had her jeans on again and was wearing a dark blue sweater, her dark blonde hair was thick and wavy, it shimmered a little reddish in the sun . Lea had beautiful brown eyes that looked so familiar ...
A slightly blistered skin and a fine snub nose. And when she smiled she had dimples. She had small, fine hands like a fairy's. And I liked her more than anything. That's how I passed my time. The doorbell rang and everyone rushed into the break so that some could not breathe. Just not me, they formed a big circle around me, it was hurtful and repulsive, but practical. So I came to the school yard safe and sound. There were already a lot of students standing there. They chatted and laughed so loudly that one could hardly understand one's own word. I rolled my eyes. Lea, who was standing in front of me, looked worried into the crowd. She was probably looking for her friends.
I didn't want her to go to them because I couldn't go with them. How did it look like when a boy was walking with a group of girls in the school yard? I didn't want them to think I was an idiot who was dragged along and followed because he had no friends. Suddenly Lea took my hand and pulled me away from the crowd. I blushed.
"Pah!" she snorted. I looked at her questioningly for a while. "What's wrong Lea ..?"
I finally asked. "Amy!" she said quickly. I did not understand. "She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with Linda! And she stands there with her and talks!"
"..O..Oh .." I stuttered. But I wasn't interested in these girls' affairs. But I pretended not to disappoint her. The anger was clearly written on her face. So she scared me a little. I grinned so that she didn't notice. I didn't like that about girls, they were mostly devious. I didn't like Lea like that either, only when she's normal ... or cute ... But the way she looked, she wasn't cute at all.I had to stop laughing. That she was upset about such petty things. I would be happy to get upset about friends. But I didn't have any except Lea.
And I couldn't get upset about her. I just liked her too much! "Great ... no more friends ..." she muttered with a sad face. And sit on an empty bench and prop her head up.
I didn't quite understand what she was trying to say. I sit down next to her and lean forward to her face. "You disappoint me ..." I said
gently. She looked at me in amazement. "You say you have no more friends. But what about me?" "Y ... yes, sorry, I didn't mean that!" She was a little embarrassed. "Lea, no matter how you are ... you can talk