Chapter 4
Pain and mental anguish,

I was in pain when I woke up, unimaginable pain and I didn't know why.
My breathing was difficult, I was afraid of choking. My head hurt and my wrists and ankles.
I tried to speak but my mouth wouldn't open. I couldn't move my arms and legs either. My eyelids were so heavy that I could hardly open them. And when I had it open I noticed that everything was dark around me and I disappeared against reality.
I saw lots of colors dancing in front of my eyes and horrific noises, half-choked screams.
Suddenly I realized that they came from me. Somebody held me. I panicked and tried to get rid of the attacker but he didn't give in.
I tried everything I could but seemed to have practically been nailed to the bed. The no bone moved. My invisible attacker was like an invincible animal above me and pushed me down, further and further into the darkness. I seemed to sink more and more into it and then the pain I'd been suppressing all these years came up and completely absorbed me.
I seemed to be watching it all from above as if I had lost my body, as if I were dead, and that scared me even more.
I only noticed my own screams marginally, the darkness seemed to get even darker and pulled me down even further.
Then suddenly I didn't notice anything anymore. "If I was dead, that was my end.", I thought, but how could that work? I could still think or was that because I had long since left my body. Because my soul was held tight here through all the agony I had to go through. I didn't want to be dead, I was desperately trying to open my eyes and move. It was important to me that the weight was gone, suddenly I heard someone calling my name.Only very softly, so softly that I thought I was just imagining it, but no sooner had I thought that, he rang up against this time. The voice came closer and the closer it came, the more familiar it seemed to me. Who was that? The more I thought about it, the more I became unaware of my body. The pain returned and threatened to overpower me.
The person picking their name got louder and louder, almost so loud that I was afraid of going deaf. Two hands fasted on my shoulders and shook me until I cried out in pain.
The hands let go of me as suddenly as they came. I was already thinking that I would sink back into the darkness when I heard a quiet soothing murmur and suddenly I knew who was there with me. “Gaara.” I whispered, barely audible, but he seemed to have heard me. I felt how he answered but what I did not understand.
Then everything seemed to move away from me and it turned black around me.

Gaara leaned over her and heard her breathing softly and her spray getting a peaceful expression. He sat down next to her and watched her sleep for a while. With every jerky move he looked at her in the hope that she would come to. Kankuro stood behind him in a corner of the room and had scorched his gaze. What had he done, he didn't want to frighten her so much and certainly not drive her to faint. When he entered her room in the hope that she would be awake, he was wrong and surprised her while she was sleeping. He had stood in a corner of the room to wait for her to wake up, she had done that too and just as he was about to show himself to her she had started screaming. He just wanted to shut her mouth so she wasn't too loud and alerted Gaara, but he had slipped away and fell on top of her. She had apparently lost consciousness then, but then she began to scream even louder and fidget.He wanted to calm her down and had pushed her into bed. Then Gaara had opened the door and pushed him away from her. He had tried to wake her up, but she hadn't come to and then fell asleep.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly, he hadn't intended Gaara to hear.
"Save yourself that.", Gaara replied coldly with barely suppressed anger.
"I really didn't want her ..." He couldn't get any further, the Gaara interrupted him.
"Didn't you hear me? One more word and I swear you will regret it." He hissed more than he said.
There was a soft knock on the door and Gaara got up to open it. Temari stormed in and looked startled from Sakura to Kankuro and then to Gaara. "What did he do to her, Gaara. He didn't mean ..."
"No.", Gaara said before she could finish and then added. "He should tell you himself, but go with him somewhere else, I guarantee nothing."
Temari nodded silently and took Kankuro outside with him. "What were you thinking .." One heard before they were out of the way.
Gaara sat down against Sakura on the bed, he was still wearing his robe and was dead tired. But he managed to stay awake if Sakura woke up, he wanted to explain to her what had fallen before.

When I woke up and first of all I looked around the room, frightened. I was neither handcuffed nor kidnapped. I lay in bed unchanged in my room, then I remembered the pain I had sprayed yesterday. Just remembering it hurt incredibly, so I pushed the memory aside. I heard a faint rustling and almost screamed out loud when a hand came over my mouth and closed it.
"Have no fear, everything is fine.", Said a cold voice to me that could only belong to Gaara. I had calmed down and when Gaara noticed this, the hand disappeared from my mouth."What happened to me?" I asked carefully so as not to show him that I was afraid of him.
"Kankuro will tell you that, but that'll have to wait."
What was the matter, Gaara's gaze had become so hard when he pronounced Kankuro's name. But another thought plagued me, what was he going to do with me?
"What should he tell me?", Gaara looked at me coldly.
"You will see that, but as I said, you have to wait until it is back.", He managed to press. His eyes got even colder.
"And what happens now? What should I do so long?" I asked, hoping to get an answer.
"Since Tsunade has confirmed to me that you are a medic nin, you will be working in the hospital, but not until next month. To be honest, I don't know what I will do with you during this time."
He drives me crazy if he doesn't know what to do with me, why doesn't he let me work in the hospital right away? I just couldn't figure him out.
There was a knock on the door and Temari came in.
"Gaara the council is freaking out you should go slowly to the meeting."
"I just have to quickly find a bridging solution for you then I'll come:"
"Then why don't you let her help you in the office? Then you don't always have to spend your days off there."
"I'm Kazekage, I don't have any days off and what would you do if she were a spy."
"Oh come on, you know exactly that it is not her. She turns red immediately when she lies."
"Does that have to be?" I had misheard myself or had Gaara just really said that. Temari seemed to notice that too and raised an eyebrow.
"Did you really just ask that, or am I dreaming?" Temari asked incredulously.
"Oh! I said that out loud? Actually, I don't care, the main thing is that it doesn't stand in my way." With these words, he dissolved and disappeared without a trace.We both watched him go on in disbelief.
"Oh my God. It had to be, now he's getting on my nerves even more than before." I said and waited impatiently for Temari's answer.
"I think you're annoying him."
"If you think so, don't expect me to be nice to him when he isn't to me either."
"Just be careful what you say around him or you could get into trouble."
With these words Temari disappeared and left me alone.

I've been in Suna for almost three weeks now and everyone seemed to pretend I wasn't there. Sometimes I found myself thinking of betraying Gaara just so that they would finally notice me. Once I was about to attack Gaara from behind.
But I changed my mind at the last moment before anyone noticed anything.
Gaara also treated me like air, if it weren't for Temari who gave me my tasks, I almost believed myself that I didn't exist.
But one evening everyone should change, it was getting late and I was just coming back from my last job to deliver something when I saw a dark figure move around Gaara's house.
I wanted to know who it was and followed him inconspicuously, at least I hoped. I tried to get as close as possible to her to see who it was when I heard a crack behind me.
I was frightened and turned around, but there was no one and when I looked ahead, the figure was gone. I still crept in the direction he might have gone. My breathing was fast and my heart was beating up to the neck, only when I heard this did I realize that I was afraid and would have preferred to turn back. But my curiosity was stronger and drove me further. So I went on but I couldn't find the trace of the stranger because there was a crash behind me and everything went black around me.Seemingly lifeless, the body sagged to the ground, it made a dull noise. A small trickle of blood made its way over her forehead and dripped to the ground, where it sank into the earth.
As if by magic, the body rose and was carried away. So he disappeared in the distance.