I had been away too long, maybe something had happened to them. I did not know it. The worry grew with every minute that passed, the thought couldn't be passed and I still woke up frightened and sweaty for no reason. I would always crawl into bed with Shane, Mike, Nick or Jake and let them calm me down again. It was exhausting and my dark circles were getting worse every day, but I was still afraid to fall asleep. My arm was hurting more and more and I didn't know why. One morning, when, as always, I could not sleep, I discovered fine cuts on my left arm after the bath, they were bleeding easily. I thought nothing of it, put a few plasters on and got dressed.

With the days that passed, the wounds got deeper and deeper, I couldn't explain it to myself, but I was afraid to tell the others, something was stopping me."Why do you always wear something long? It's really hot and you should really sweat under those things.", Mike said and tugged at my sweater. I had nothing to say, just shrugged and let the subject hang in the air. Still at a loss, he turned back to his game and continued to gamble. I didn't care what the others thought lately, I still worried about the others, but they wouldn't let me go. They were really stalking me. Besides, I had given up on escaping. I began to suspect that they were taking turns on watch to prevent me from simply running away. I thoughtfully straightened Mike's hair, which, as always, he hadn't combed that morning. Nick sat down next to me and leaned back, exhausted.
"Where have you been?" I asked, just to feign attention. My thoughts kept going in circles.
"How could I escape", "Why do I get cuts on my arm for no reason" and "Why can't I tell you, even not show you"
I hid these strange wounds under my sweatshirts. I slowly got up and mechanically went into the kitchen, looked at the refrigerator and reached in aimlessly. When the scent of pancakes rose to my nose, I was torn from my circling thoughts, looked at my hands in astonishment and wondered why it did not turn out to be a disaster. I got jam, Nutella, cocoa powder, powdered sugar and red fruit jelly from the cupboards, served my delicious meal on the table and called her. I poked around at the pancake and shoved a piece in my mouth, looking at Jake and wondering. Something was wrong with him. I just didn't know what it was. He's been avoiding me in the last few days and now he's sitting next to me and punching Nick in the side, laughing and not looking as pale as he did this morning. I just left it there and didn't worry any more.

One morning I was sitting alone at the kitchen table. I had combed the whole house for the boys, but they must have left this morning. I put the last piece of bread in my mouth and went brushing my teeth. My thoughts revolved around "Escape" and "How am I supposed to explain this to you about my arm?" ...
I decided to try and see if I could get out of here at all. I crept quietly to my things and put on a pair of sneakers. I tiptoed down the stairs, jumping over the creaky step. But just as I had put my hand on the doorknob, I heard footsteps outside and rushed upstairs as quickly and quietly as possible. There I threw my shoes in some corner and ran into the kitchen.

I pretended to be looking for something in the refrigerator, opened it silently and then slammed it shut again. I peeked out the door to the stairs, but nobody was there.Amazed, I slowly went back to the stairs, but I didn't get that far. Someone grabbed me and wrapped an arm around my stomach, pressing my arms against my sides. It was Jake.

I wanted to tell im that he scared me, but something was wrong, not with him and not with the whole situation. Slowly he leaned forward, whispered "I'm so sorry" in my ear and put his lips on my neck.
From there it started tingling. It's like electricity is flowing through my body. It felt strange, but it was a pleasant, exciting feeling. He put a hand under my chin, lifted my face.

Then suddenly there was a sharp pain. I felt myself getting weaker, heard him swallow, but I couldn't figure it out. My body reacts instinctively. I writhed and lashed out. I pushed him away and I ran to the next best corner so as not to be surprised from behind. I touched my neck. It was sticky and wet. I looked at him with terrified eyes.

He walked slowly towards me, the lust for hunting shone in his eyes. My field of vision became blurred and I heard someone storm up the stairs behind me. Jake was five meters away one second and in front of me the next, smiling at me with a bloodied face. Somebody pulled me away from him and stood in his way.
It was Shane.
"Damn it, what's that supposed to be ?! Just calm down!" He yelled at him. He stood like a wall between me and Jake. But I doubted he was the Jake I knew at that moment. I fell to the ground but felt nothing as I had already lost consciousness.

Chapter: Complicated Coexistence
Calm breaths woke me up. I listened, but was afraid to open my eyes, wishing it had all been just a nightmare. It's not real, it just can't be! I had a headache and didn't move a bit. Only inhaling and exhaling could be heard. I didn't know who it was.

My brain worked slowly, couldn't grasp the connections. My body was still paralyzed. After a moment of waiting, I pulled myself together and struggled to my feet and sat down. I was tense, but ignored it and looked at the edge of the sofa. I wanted to know who was sitting with me. It was him. Jake.
My heart began to pound, adrenaline rushed through my veins again and I pulled the covers up to my chin, knees tight against my body. As before, when I was scared, I pulled the covers up to my nose and looked at Jake anxiously. No, I couldn't even look him properly in the eye.
I pulled myself together and made myself do it. His eyes were bright blue and full of remorse. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again without a word.
I was shaking, wishing he'd lie to me, say everything was fine.I wished that he hugged me comfortingly and tried to calm me down.
Like the previous nights when I woke up drenched in sweat, crawled up to him and listened to his heartbeat. But his face already told me everything. It happened, he regretted it and I was scared of him. These were facts he couldn't deny.
He sat down next to me on the sofa, I crawled even further under the covers. I looked at him suspiciously, no fearfully, and he met my gaze. As we sat like this the tension between us grew. I was getting hot and cold, my heart was still beating at an abnormal pace, my breathing was fast.
I could remember the biting pain and that wasn't even the worst. I just didn't want to believe it was him. Jake, who always smiled at me crookedly, who was there for me.