* Children's dance *

She sat alone in the corner of the old, rusty wire fence, in the shade of the trees, out of sight of her classmates. Her small body trembled, and she pressed her delicate hands against her mouth, cramped. No sound was allowed to escape her lips, nothing to reveal anything.
She couldn't give anything away, because otherwise her classmates would come again, come again and see how weak the little girl was.
She could still hear their voices exactly in her ears, could hear them laughing maliciously and saying that she finally had to take responsibility for the suffering of the class. The suffering she always caused was caused by being friends with someone who hit and spat on others.
What could she do about it?
She didn't hurt anyone, even tried to help, but that wasn't enough for the others. It wasn't enough, and since they couldn't harm the boy who committed all these atrocities, they always pointed at them and made them bleed for it. That was a lot easier.
A tear ran down her cheek and she felt others follow.
Sob.
She could no longer suppress it, could no longer swallow the pain she had accumulated in the few years of her life, could no longer pretend it was nothing. Did she know exactly that something was wrong, that something had long formed in her that was not normal for her age and should never be said.
Slowly she covered her face with her hands. She no longer needed to be quiet because there was no one around her. Nobody was interested in the little trembling girl who sat in her corner crying. Nobody cared what happened to her or that she started burying her fingers in her hair to pull it out.
Pain.
It was the first time that she did this to herself. She'd heard about it, watched it on TV, and realized that many people harm themselves to feel better, but only now did she really understand. Only now did she realize why it should feel so good.
A slight smile fell on her lips and her heart beat a little faster again.
How comforting it was to have this pain under control. How good it was that he blocked out the others, this stinging in the chest, this pain so completely.
She looked up again. The smile was still on her lips, tears continued to run down her cheeks. But that was okay. Should they see it. Should they laugh at her and amuse themselves about it, that wouldn't bother her anymore.
Not any longer longer.
The children couldn't do anything to her anymore, nothing she couldn't take, and if they did hurt her, she now knew what to do.
Laughter fell over the little girl, loud resounding laughter that echoed dull across the empty school yard and shook her body, and then she did it ...She threw back her head, hit it as hard as she could against the rusty fence, and closed her eyes enjoying himself.
Pain, what a nice feeling.

*end*