my reflection
There is something wrong. I look different. It works wrong, it's not me anymore!
My mother would say it's nonsense, it's just the hair. Others cut their hair short too.
How can she say that?
My situation is very different. I didn't choose that with, it had to be done. It wasn't my choice, it was never my choice. Always my parents'!
Why? It's my body! Why don't you understand?
"Don't be so childish. Child, it's just hair!" She said. It's just hair!
For her maybe, but not for me. I want them, that was the only thing I found beautiful about myself, and now they are gone.
"Hair grows back, but what use is it if you die? You don't wake up again! Be sensible, be an adult!"
But I am not an adult! I don't want to be an adult! I want my hair!
Why doesn't she understand? My hair was what made me stand out! It's not me who doesn't understand anything! She is it!
I throw a disgusted look in the bedroom mirror. I made my parents bring him here. Then I sent her away. I want to be alone, they don't understand me. Nobody understands me!
I don't care if you are mad! It's not just the hair! It's a sign, a sign that I'm not even allowed to make a decision about my body. I am not allowed to do anything.
Also, how should my hair grow back? So that they didn't fail, they shaved them all off before the first chemo. And at the next chemos they have no chance of growing back.
Everyone wants me to act as an adult, to be sensible and think about my future, but I am a child! And when I think about my future, I don't want to be bald! I don't want to be in the hospital all the time, I don't want to have constant chemotherapy that may not help.
I don't want to think about the future. She scares me, is that so difficult to understand?
I am no longer myself. I have beautiful long hair that everyone admires. I always laugh and have fun in the pool with my friends. I don't like to lie in a room for hours. I don't have cancer. I am free!
----
Hello,
Productive as I am there is still a shortoneshot.
It is no less depressing than the first one today, and no less horrific, I think.
Hope you like it better than me.
The repetitions in there excite me ...
Eq