had to smile. "Why do you go to such trouble for someone ... actually a stranger?" My mouth slowly went a bit numb, which was also clearly noticeable in my pronunciation. Kjell ignored it, however. "You said earlier it feels like we've known each other forever. I don't know why, but I have the same feeling." He grinned. "I have to be very careful not to talk to you about intimate things right away." "Oh, you know ... Tell me, I'm so dazed, I'll forget all of them again."

He laughed and stroked my head gently, which is why I closed my eyes. "Nice try. Sleep now, little one. I'll write to Nanda." I just nodded before I fell asleep at the same moment.

When I woke up, it was already dark outside.The light next to my bed was on. Kjell must have turned it on before he left, but maybe my mother came home for once. I listened for a moment. The only thing I could hear was the yawning silence. I sighed and slowly sat up. I looked at my cell phone which Kjell had put next to my pillow and read the message from Nanda. "Call when you're awake.: *" "Yes boss .." I mumbled quietly, I calmly dialed her number and lay back in bed and put my free arm over my eyes.

"Hey, how are you?" I should smile a bit. "Thank you, better. Kjell wrote to you?"
"Yes, he did. He also said as soon as something was ready. Sweet how he cares about you." My smile widened. It was really cute and a nice change from the young men you usually met. Of course not everyone was like that! I don't want to cram everyone together either. But you had to admit that some of them didn't necessarily play the best game.

“Yes, yes.” “So?” I pulled my eyebrows up slightly for a moment. "So what?" "Well, how do you like him. Apart from the muscles that are obviously more than turning you on." At the thought of earlier in class, my cheeks warmed up again, which gradually turned so red that you could have thought they burst. Although I had to admit that I didn't know what was more uncomfortable. The fact that Nanda caught me or that the Kjell saw it more than clearly.

"He's ... I don't know. I mean he looks good. And he's nice." "And?" You could clearly hear that my best friend almost burst. I had to laugh a little while I slowly sat up again and crawled to the window. My bed was right below it and I could pull myself up from the bed to the windowsill and sit on it. I leaned against the wall, relaxed, and calmly looked outside. "Well, now say what you want to say. You're almost bursting." She giggled contentedly.

"He's decent and he likes you. You can see that." I rolled my eyes. "Yes, because he hasn't looked at all the other girls in our school." Nanda snorted. "You're stupid. He likes you! Why don't you understand?" "Please think of the guy who thought I was great the last time and who seemed to be quite decent at the beginning." "Do you mean the one who was shorter than you and constantly talked about mommy or who had to put on a new shirt every 5 minutes because he was sweating? "I grimaced. “Do you notice?” “Yes, but they weren't Kjell! Look at him!” I had to laugh a little. "Yes, yes, of course. We'll see what happens."

A loud "Yes" rang out, which is why I laughed again. "That sounds better. So what are you doing tonight?" Although I knew that my best friend didn't see it, I shrugged my shoulders, calmly looked up at the moon. “I don't know, we gamble?” “Ehhh! Wrong answer.” “I beg your pardon?” I knitted my eyebrows in confusion. "You stay in bed. And write to Kjell. No, better give him a call!" I let my feet disappear under my covers again. "I'll write to him, yes. Don't call. In the end you don't know what to talk about and there is an embarrassing silence. Thanks, I forego." "Well ... Well ... That could happen. But believe with him I don't. Now call him. We'll hang up and then you'll call him. "

I pouted my cheeks pouting. "I don't want ..." She sighed in annoyance. "That you always have to be forced to be happy. Now let's go. We'll hang up and then you call him." "Yes, it's good if it goes wrong ..." "It won't. I expect an immediate report afterwards See you later! ”Before I could answer, she hung up. I took the cell phone from my ear and stared at it for a while.I just sat there for at least a minute and looked at the cell phone. When the display turned black, I raised my head and looked around my room.

I kept my bedroom pretty plain. My closet in the light wood, a black bed. A white dressing table and a large mirror on the wall. A dark carpet lay in the center of the room. The walls in a dark brown. And then this silence. That overwhelming silence of loneliness. When you come home, no matter what time, and no one is there ... at some point you even don't care. But I hadn't really cared about it yet. I often longed to come home and someone would be waiting for me.

Often Nanda slept with me, sometimes I slept with her too. She hated to leave me alone. But slowly I was able to deal with it. Usually. Right now I felt the longing for someone to hug me. I felt weird. How a stupid premonition that something was going to happen. I felt uncomfortable being alone right now.

Why was my mother never there? Well, she was at work all day, was with her boyfriend or was iced up. Often I also had the feeling that I didn't know her at all. As if something stood between us and not even our blood connected us. Oh yes, she was my birth mother. But how could you bond with someone who was never there? I don't know when we last celebrated Christmas together.

I sighed softly and unlocked my phone. I just stared at it for a moment, then pressed my lips together and looked outside in silence. I was just beginning to realize that I only got along so well with being alone because I kept repressing it. But now I felt bad. I wanted to be in the arms of my mother who obviously didn't love me. Was I just so desperate that in my loneliness I wanted to call someone I don't actually know. If I was honest, as far as I could tell he was exactly my type. But in the past few months I had given up hope of any kind.

I winced when suddenly two ravens sat down in front of my window and stared at me. I didn't dare move. They stared at me closely, sometimes looking away, but then turning their gaze back to me. It was scary but fascinating at the same time. When was it possible to see ravens at close quarters? Little by little I relaxed again and had to smile for a moment. I struggled with myself if I should open the windows. Why? I didn't quite know myself, maybe I could stroke her? However, you could then get lost in my room and find it difficult to get out. Well, although it was said that these animals should be particularly intelligent.

Ultimately, I yielded to my curiosity and slowly and carefully opened the window, the two remained seated. I got up briefly to open it fully and then sat down again. They hopped in slowly, looked around briefly, but then looked back at me, which is why I had to smile a bit. I carefully held out my hand to one of them. He looked at my hand and then pecked it briefly. Not great, just very lightly and carefully, then he looked up at me again and I dared to gently stroke his soft feathers with my index finger. They were really damn soft. As shiny as they were, they were also supple.

He nestled me against my finger and closed his eyes. "Well, little guy .." I only spoke softly, afraid I would scare her away otherwise. The other one hopped a little closer and I began to gently stroke him too. You can hardly describe what an exciting and beautiful feeling it was. I don't know how they did it, but they made me feel calm and at peace.It was nice and they let me forget my worries for that moment. “Are you maybe hungry?” They both looked up at me and cocked their heads, one of them croaked slightly and a short, quiet laugh escaped me. "It's okay, I got it.

I got up slowly so as not to scare the two of them. Only now did I notice that I was still a little weak. I swayed briefly, but found it back quickly and stood still for a moment. Then I slowly got up. As I went down to the kitchen I wondered what ravens would eat? Probably meat, just as I have seen some of my guests' conspecifics eat the animals on the streets. But downstairs in front of the fridge I had to regret to find that I didn't necessarily have a raw piece of meat ready. However, on closer inspection, I discovered a package with sausages which I actually wanted to make tonight. At the thought of eating them now, however, I immediately changed. So it was now the meal of my guests.

When I turned around, the two were already sitting on the dining table and examining the package in my hand. As a precaution, I paused for a moment and then slowly sat down next to them at the table. I tore open the package and took out one of the sausages. The two did not rush on it as expected but waited patiently. I grabbed the bread knife which I had left lying this morning and cut the sausage into small pieces, then I handed both halves and put them in a pile in front of them.

I watched them calmly while they were eating. I thought for a moment. A spontaneous decision could bring about such small but beautiful and exciting moments. Despite my fear, I had opened the window and now I was sitting there with two ravens who were enjoying my dinner.

I got up in silence. The two didn't even look. The way to my room was just as difficult as the way down. I dropped my bum on my bed and picked up my cell phone. I had a missed call from .. Kjell? I took a deep breath and dialed his number before pressing the green handset and holding the cell phone to my ear.

It wasn't long before he answered in a calm voice. "Well, Sleeping Beauty? Are you feeling better?" I had to smile a little. "Yes, I think it was just a kind of little faint attack." "With a fever." "Yes, with a fever. But I'm better. I'm just a little mushy." "Would you