Chapter: Tetsuo's true feelings

I didn't even know what had actually been going on with me lately. When Kaori spoke to me the other day on Kaneda, I couldn't get a sound out of it, but I have no idea why. Is that because of Kaneda or because of her?
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I have the feeling that I like you somehow, but that can't be! She is nothing but a subordinate, a servant of my kingdom!
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But ............... The question ...........
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What do I have against Kaneda ............
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I can't answer that myself.
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I just hate him, and nothing will ever change about that, and it doesn't matter why! It doesn't matter at all, damn it!
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And then this akira ........ What is he always doing on my mind?
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There are so many questions unanswered that I will never be able to answer .........
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A lot has happened since my accident ..........
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It used to be very different ...... I wonder why it had to go on like this.<br />
Couldn't it have stayed the same forever as it was then?
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Now I don't see any point in the whole thing. my world is falling apart and I can only watch, but .............. I will still never give up, whatever happens!