colorless, white hair in the shape of a star. <br />
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"Bellatrix," I whispered. That's what I call you. That means warrior and that is also the name of a star in Orion. I call you that because you wanted to fight. But it was not granted to you. I gently stroked the soft down on the mouth, the tiny nostrils, the long eyelashes.I was so sorry, so infinitely sorry. I couldn't do anything. It couldn't even live a day. It was conceived and was not allowed to live. Was not allowed to try the first steps in the pasture with his mother. Was not allowed to romp around with other foals and let off steam, enjoy childhood. No, it didn't get a chance. It was born never to breathe. I covered the little corpse and went back to Elisa. She was still lying in the straw, breathing heavily. I stroked her and talked to her reassuringly. Kai sat on the bale of straw and said nothing more. I got the wheelbarrow and pitchfork and removed the soiled straw from the box. I put the devices in their place in silence and took care of Elisa. I gave her concentrate and a tranquilizer, which was in no way inferior to Valium. Then I noticed that Kai was standing behind me and looking at me. Calm, controlled, and yet there was a touch of concern over his features.He must have seen the traces of my tears on my cheeks. He came closer. <br />
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"Everlyn? Can you handle it?" "Yeah, yeah, sure. It's not the first time I've seen a dead horse," I replied, surprisingly aggressive. I walked quickly out of the stable towards one of the willows and leaned against the wooden fence there. Now the shock overcame me too and I noticed how a crying fit rose up inside me. I put my hands over my face and fought back tears. I heard faint footsteps behind me. So did he follow me after all! "Lyn.", Kai said roughly. He stood motionless behind me. I turned around and looked into his pretty face, which now looked obviously concerned. We looked at each other in silence for a while. He was so close to me I could have leaned against him just so I wasn't alone, but something inside of me was blocking that action. I couldn't hold back any longer and tears ran down my cheeks. Just because. Without sobbing and crying loudly.They ran down noiselessly in a small trickle. "Damn it!" I said flatly. "It was her first foal. It would have been so nice, because I have already raised the mare myself. I brought her to life when she was lying completely exhausted in the straw. She had made it. Her baby didn't today. It wasn't him Granted. That's the way it is sometimes, isn't it? ”I laughed bitterly. "It's not much different with horses than with us humans. Suddenly you die too early, or you don't even get the chance to be released into life and to feel it, to see it. <br />
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It can also catch you when you don't want it at all, of all times when you are happy or have just decided to change your life. When you have new plans. Zack! There he comes. He that no one can avoid. Always been there, just took your own life and ended it. I put as much energy into this foal as parents-to-be into their child. It hurts.I didn't want that ..... I should have noticed it when I felt the birth position ..... And precisely because of this natural cycle of earthly equilibrium one should enjoy every day. See it as a gift, because how quickly can you leave this sphere through stupidity, coincidence or calculated intention? What I'm really interested in is what really happens and what it's like afterwards. Death raises many questions, but they can never be answered! For that, the dead would have to come back to tell and that wouldn't be right for us after all! "I laughed cynically. There was a pause in which you could only hear our breathing. Kai took a step towards me, hesitantly, he slowly stretched out his hand and took mine." Lyn, you are full of blood. Go and get something else on. I'll wait with Elisa until then. "<br />
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See you sweeties! <br />
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