Chapter: 30 minutes

A / N: Well, here we have something very nice and is suitable for everyone who likes it sad. <br />
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Raiting: R à NC17 <br />
Warning: depri, darkfic and death <br />
Pairing: (everyone can choose who wants to know exactly who should ask me) <br />
Disclaimer: No money making - no character theft <br />
Comment: I dedicate this FF to Viki-chan, Neesha, Xixia-san, Blackmoonlight, SSjAvril, and all my other dear picking writers. <br />
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30 minutes <br />
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He sat indifferently on the piano bench. Looked at the snow-white keys. But He didn't see you. Was too deep in thought to perceive anything. He couldn't move. His body was like ice. Rigid and cold. His thoughts no longer wanted to obey him. Became independent and walked in the past. Stuck on the day that locked him in his own prison. His spirit blocked it and yet he was banished further and further into the infinite expanses of his soul.A soul where bloody wounds gaped. Abyssal cracks paved their way. A soul that was torn and battered ... He wanted to forget, but He couldn't. A melody sounded from the deepest, most hidden place. A melody that brought tears to his eyes. There was a laugh. Cut into his heart like a steel wire. Made it bleed without healing it. Without forgiving him. Made it ache. He didn't want any more. Didn't want to endure this pain anymore. That would haunt him all his life. Pushing him further and further into hopelessness without regretting it. They enjoyed tormenting him. They enjoyed it, it was his punishment ... <br />
<br />
Out of sight <br />
Out of mind <br />
Out of time <br />
To decide <br />
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He couldn't run from them. They would always follow him. Would find him anywhere. Would continue to torment him. He couldn't hide. Not even inside.Not in the dark depths of his soul. You would come in innumerable flocks. Would hold him until he couldn't take it anymore. Until He passed out from which He would never awaken. His mind would be trapped. In a body without a soul. He would never want that. Or is it? Was this the only way to escape them? This pain. No, it would be pointless. Even if He faced them, would that change anything? Then would you stop tormenting him? Would you just go away? He doubted it. And then, if you left, what would be left of him? An empty body without a soul? An empty soul without a body? He didn't know what he preferred. Neither did he calm down. Would He never find rest? Would He always remember it? Thinking about how his life was taken? <br />
<br />
Do we run? <br />
Should I hide? <br />
For the rest <br />
Of my life? <br />
<br />
How could He escape them?These sharp needles that pierced his soul. How should He do that? He couldn't fly. But would He finally be freed in Heaven? Or would He go to Hell? Would you still have fun with it then? Couldn't you see how He suffered? How the compassion of his fellow human beings welled out of every pore of his skin and dripped onto the floor? He didn't want pity. Didn't want to be looked at by everyone the way it was every day. Just wanted his rest and his peace that He would never find. Was it fate? Should He suffer like that? Was it so written in God's book? Was that the way he had to go? Should He survive this blow? Or was it all just a painful loss that drove him to ask all these questions? He could lose himself if He knew the answers. Answers he had to have. But He could also fail. All this just imagining and dreaming. In reality it was all just a bad nightmare ... <br /><br />
Can we fly? <br />
Do I stay? <br />
We could lose <br />
We could fail <br />
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When would the moment come when you consumed it? To finally vanish from this reality and never come back. Would you go with him? Would He still feel you if He thought of you? You whom He had lost. You whom He loved. You whom He should have protected. But now they were gone and the pain of loss had taken their place. A place that you had never really conquered. Part of his soul clung to that part. Kept him alive. It was only a fragment, but it was enough to let him breathe. To fill air into his empty body so that He could nourish himself on this piece of hope. He would never give up. It was his heart. It belonged to him, like his soul. He remembered a long time ago. A time when He was still happy. Don't last after hanging on that thought.What if He went with you? Would you still be alive then? What if He persuaded you to stay home? Would you still be alive then? They had planned this trip for a long time and now they didn't want to cancel it again. You had been so looking forward to it that you didn't even notice the danger. She was slowly getting closer, the danger and nobody suspected anything. This tour you planned was your fatal mistake. <br />
<br />
In the moment <br />
It takes <br />
To make plans <br />
Or mistakes <br />
<br />
30 minutes. Had been a little moment. It was only a moment, but it felt like hours. Hours in which He had been in shock. Hours that then turned into days and every second of them was unbearable. Seconds of fear. Seconds that became infinitely long. 30 minutes. In which one could have changed everything. But suddenly it was no longer important to think up something or finally to make a decision - no longer important!How could the lives of two people not be important? How could one deny their existence? How could you just be forgotten? Forget when you were important to him. Forget who you were. Forget who you are and who you still will be in years. In those 30 minutes of saving their lives, you just gave up on them. Just like you're worthless. Did nothing to help them! Took the loved ones of his life from them. Stole everything that was important to him. They gave pain instead of happiness or even hope. Denied him everything! His life, his calm and his peace ... <br />
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30 minutes a blink of an eye <br />
30 minutes to alter our live <br />
30 minutes to make up my mind <br />
30 minutes to finally decide <br />
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Gave him 30 minutes to say goodbye to them. But 30 minutes just wasn't enough! It had taken him years to accept what He had felt then. It had been a shock, but He had accepted his gift.It is cherished and cared for and not pushed away. In that time he realized what he was feeling. It was that little bit of hope that He saw you again. Sometime. 30 minutes to pray for you. Pray that you got out of there. Pray that He could hug you again. But that didn't happen. He could whisper their names so many times, but you wouldn't come back. Never again. He could take the blame, but it wouldn't bring you back. Because that was impossible ... Those 30 minutes when others were happy were 30 lies for him. He would never trust you again. They had stolen it from him without knowing it. They took everything from him. And in those thirty minutes you could finally decide? What did you do and what not? And in those 30 minutes you took everything ... his friends, his family, his loved ones ... <br />
<br />
30 minutes to whisper your name <br />
30 minutes to shoulder the blame <br />
30 minutes of bliss, thirty lies <br />30 minutes to finally decide <br />
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What would heaven await? Would you receive him there? Would he be accepted? Make him forget everything? All of his feelings and memories? Would you rob him of everything that was still valuable to him? Feelings He couldn't understand. Memories that tormented him. Rushing him over and over again. Devoured him without leaving anything of him. Memories that He wanted to forget but couldn't because they were too precious? What would be waiting for him in heaven? Carousels where angels had fun? Angels who were once abused, beaten, and beaten to death? Angels who weren't as innocent as you looked? Angels Who Had Suffered As He Did? His heart began to pound. Maybe He saw you again in heaven? Could He then start a new future? Without worry and suffering? Would He then see the carousel in her eyes? How it was reflected. And the light that now shone from their souls.Would He be able to feel that too? Would it take shape? But what would it be? Would it attract evil again? Would it devour you again? Pull you into the deep throat and no longer let you go? Then He would have lost you again, only this time in heaven. No return ... He would never see you again. What if He went with you? Then He would no longer have to endure this pain. He would be free ... He would be with you ... <br />
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Carousels <br />
In the sky <br />
That we shape <br />
With our eyes <br />
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His gaze was still on the piano keys and he began to play by himself. Played this one sequence. Over and over again. This melody ran through his mind. Caressed his ruined soul. With his eyes closed, He waited for you to appear before him. They loved that tune. Always asked that He play you. She brought her laughter back to life. That laugh that He loved so much.That you took from him. A cloud moved in front of the sun. Darkened everything. Made everything fall silent. He paused. The sound faded away unheard. He got up slowly and went to the large window. A big old oak stood in front of his house. He felt like someone was standing underneath. But he could only make out silhouettes. His breath stops for a few seconds. He heard that happy laugh. It cut deep into his soul. He pressed his forehead to the cool glass. His whole body suddenly felt so cold. As if He always lived in this shadow of uncertainty. Forever. Forever and ever. Throwing himself the shame that He hadn't been able to do. They later told him to go home. Take a nice bath and first of all recover from all the stresses and strains. Hardships? How could you see that as hardship? They had just sunk his entire life into the sea of ​​oblivion.A crystal tear cracked on the window sill. Shattered like his whole life. A raindrop searched its way