Chapter: Worries and tears / My thoughts! Oh, I can think ?!

Chat, Addiction and Pain (Part 6)

Worries and tears

It was the third day and school was over. I didn't plan on anything today so that I would still be there when Stefan comes. He came in 10 minutes after me and said he only had 10 minutes. I had thousands of questions over the three days, but only two occurred to me. & # 8222; How are you & # 8220; and & # 8222; why are you at home & # 8220;. He replied that he was fine and told me he was in the home because he had tried to kill himself and his mother knew no other way out than to put him in the home. Then I only had time to ask if he still had his cell phone and to ask when he would be back on. He told me he could only go online once a month and then only 10 minutes.He just said I love you and he was gone. Without realizing it, I cried, letting the feelings of the past three days run free. Couldn't and wouldn't stop the tears.& # 8222; It's over! & # 8220; shouted a voice inside of me. & # 8222; He will not be in touch! & # 8220; The vocal screamed and screamed it over and over in my head. I couldn't stand it and just switched off, put myself in a trance state. In my head the voice kept screaming until it suddenly screamed: & # 8222; You won't hear from him again for a month hahahaha ..... & # 8220; I noticed that the voice wanted to finish me off. She succeeded..´She finished me off and I went to Benjamin's house. He understood me and knew exactly with which words to comfort me. We talked and talked. I poured out all of my heart to him. He even dropped his beloved soccer training for me. It was 9 p.m. when I got home. I avoided my family and went to bed straight away.

Days passed like this. I hardly talked at all, got worse at school, and was in a trance the whole time.My two friends Laura and Nicole noticed this because they invited me to spend a weekend with them. I accepted and thought it was worth a try, because I wanted to laugh again, to forget this leading voice and these terrible feelings, but I needed help because I no longer had the strength. So I drove to Laura on Saturday morning .....
~~~~~ Flashback end ~~~~~

My thoughts! Oh, I can think ?!

When I think back, the weekend was worth it. I really laughed again, even if it was only for two days!

I hope you enjoy reading

Forest Fairy ^. ~