Chapter: Where are your tears?

If your life is just senseless

:;:;:; Well, the title says it all, I think ...
My new short story drama. I found my Cwdt (Cant we die together) so cool (you only had to do a few Kapis) that I now want one more. It's also because I can't really make any progress with my other stories ... And those aren't real dramas either ... I just need another howling story! :;:;:;:;

Chapter 1: Where are yous tears?
It was kind of a comforting feeling when the knife ran down her arm and the pain it caused ran through her body. She needed the pain to be sure she was still alive at all. And she wasn't quite as sure as she was at the beginning.
It started only two weeks ago, when she met Jonny. She hardly remembered the time before, only a few pictures flashed through her head, which she could not relate to anything.Jonny often picked out some street kids like her and administered drugs to them, mostly heroin straight away. Then you were locked in a basement and pumped full of this lousy stuff until you became addicted. In order for Jonny to continue to procure material, you had to prostitute yourself and Jonny got all the money.
It was the same with her. She just came from one of her disgusting suitors who smelled of sweat and was sitting in a puked and pissed back alley. She repeatedly ran the blade of her pocket knife over her right arm. Then over the left, then over both legs and finally over the face. The blood flowed into the ground, seeped into the grooves of the broken road, sank down there forever.
For the first few days she had screamed instead of hurting herself, but now she had no more tears. All she had left was blood, and she feared that she would run out of even that one day.Then she had lost nothing, everything. She had no one to go to, only Jonny, and he would send her back to the streets, where she was either brutally raped or beaten up by competitors. She had never used her penknife on anyone other than herself, knowing that some of her enemies were carrying pistols and would shoot them in cold blood if she pulled her knife.
Nobody saw her blood or didn't want to see it. No one saw her wounds all over her body, not even the man she bumped into on the street when she got to her feet. She staggered a little because of the high blood loss and kept falling to the ground, dirt and grime getting into her wounds. They would surely ignite. Nobody paid any attention to them.
Her head was also almost completely empty. She just wanted to lie down and sleep, just sleep. Sleep forever. To die.
She had thought about killing herself before.It wasn't that difficult, she just had to cut a little deeper with her knife, into the heart, the carotid artery or the wrists. But something was still holding her back. A tiny spark of her will to survive had endured even the toughest of times and kept her alive. But this spark, too, hung on a thread that was about to break.
She collapsed, just spilled left into a row of smelly trash bags. Judging by the stench, they'd been there for weeks. She was about to fall asleep when a broad hand grabbed her bloodied hair and yelled at her. The words the man said were incomprehensible, but she recognized him anyway. That was Jonny. He wanted to know why she wasn't at work and who had inflicted these injuries on her.
He didn't wait for an answer from her and pulled her up. Her legs threatened to buckle, but Jonny didn't care. "I have an assignment for you that I could use your help with," he said curtly and led her through the streets.He had to carry it more than pull it.
The people around them knew who they were. Everyone knew Jonny and everyone knew the brown-haired prostitute, who had more scars on her body than other people's jewelry. But no one said anything, although it all crossed their minds: "The girl will die from the loss of blood" or: "Jonny belongs in jail". Nobody called the police and nobody paid any attention to them, although both of them would face a cruel fate in the next few hours.

Nobody's home
(Avril Lavigne)

I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, and nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
There's no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Open your eyes and look outside, find a reason why.You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Her feelings she hides.
Her thoughts she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's falling behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fall from grace.
She's all over the place.

She wants to go home, and nobody's home.
Where she lies, broken inside.
There's no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

She's lost inside, lost inside ... oh oh.
She's lost inside, lost inside ... oh oh yeah.