hm ah yes now I know it again! Sianta told me a little about my parents and a white corpse had been buried in our village. Sianta then said it was my father.""So you are not a purebred of your tribe?"
"No, I'm a half-breed as they say. That's why I was despised and laughed at by some. I hate being called that."
"You poor, that must have been pretty hard for you."
"Yes, but that is not part of the topic. Can you tell me what the meaning of these chapters mean?"
Again she pointed. Robin smiled briefly and finally said
"It's very simple. When you are in a crisis with your comrades, you shouldn't shed many tears because nothing works and that you always have someone by your side when you're sad. And that it takes time."
"Kind of like I have you? I mean the one by your side."
"Yes exactly and like me you."
They both smiled. Angy put the book back on the shelf.
"Are you two coming? Breakfast is ready."
"Okay, we're coming. Come on, Angy, or do you want to put down roots here?"
"What am I? No, I'm coming."When they entered the kitchen there was an oppressive silence. Zorro looked at Angy with grimly sparkled eyes, but she could not be disturbed and sat down. When she had finished eating, she got up and went out onto the deck. The rest were amazed, because they didn't even know Angy like that. Her everyday "And still enjoy it" did not materialize. Nami left immediately afterwards. When she got outside, she saw Angy, huddled in a corner.
"Angy, come back to us."
She shook her head frantically.
"No, nobody wants that."
"Okay but ..."
"Nothing but! It's enough for me how things are here. I want to have a clear table and that now! I want all of this again ... to be normal and that we can enjoy every day and fall asleep every night with a clear conscience. I keep it simple no longer through Nami do you understand? I have strange thoughts. "
"Did you think of suicide?"
"Yes. I had already pressed the blade to my neck. Here you can still see the traces."Angy showed Nami the fresh wounds she had sustained.
"These were made a few hours ago when you weren't awake yet. And these" she showed her some on her arms
"are 3 days old."
"That has to stop! There is no point if you kill yourself, it does absolutely nothing! Because nobody wants to lose you. You are a very good friend and you also have someone you love."
"Robin ..." Angy muttered to herself.
"Yes. What do you think, will she think when she sees you dead in front of her? She will - as I know her - blame herself for it and never do anything again that she would not regret. Maybe she would you even follow into death, and we want to prevent that. It is best for all of us. "
"But"
"There is no but Angy. I ask you as a good friend, leave it alone. I tell you it will go away ... someday."
"Yes, someday, but by then I won't live anymore. You don't want to get it. I don't have a soul anymore, it's completely eaten away by feelings of guilt and grief and anger.Sadness and hate is the only thing I can still feel. Even the fear has disappeared and I can no longer love because these three feelings have filled my whole head and I just can't think of anything else. There is no time left for other things. But you don't want to understand that, you can not only see the positive, you also have to learn to think a little about the disadvantages! "
She reached out reflexively and her hand hit Nami's face. Both had crimson heads. Angy swung back uncontrollably, but Nami was able to prevent worse. She held both arms tightly to prevent further blows.
"I know you didn't want it. You don't need to explain it to me."
"That's what the result is. I wasn't under control. I inherited all of that from my father. And the vulnerable thing came from myself. The old shaman was right ... I should have stayed at home.Then everything would not have turned out so bad. But then I would only have seen you briefly, and that would have been just as bad. Who knows what would have become of me now. I'm sorry about it. "
"It's okay. I can understand it. But that clap was nothing in contrast to what I had to take in all the blows."
"This situation is absolute hell! I want ..."
"Psst. I know how difficult it must be for you right now. But everyone - well, almost everyone is on your side. You are not alone. Except for Sanji everyone will protect you from now on and stand on your side my word of honor on it. "
"Thank you Nami. You are the best friend one can have. You have always been of great help to me when I have problems and your support is one of the most important to me. I don't know what I would be without you."
"Not at all. I'm still blushing."
"You already are. By the way, you can let go of me again.I got excited. "
"Oh yes right."
After Nami had let go of Angy and straightened up a little, Zorro stepped onto the deck and did not look at the two of them.
"What do you mongrel want here? Do the fly or I'll turn into your worst nightmare."
"So that's enough." muttered Nami
"That went too far my friend."
She grabbed Zorro by the collar and hissed directly in his face
"Say that again."
"You know that very well."
"I know Angy hurt you, but can you at least ignore her and not insult her all the time?"
"Oh, did she cry at you again to get your pity? Tztztz."
"She didn't expect any pity. She feels pretty dirty and all because of you!"
"Then she should jump into the sea, everything is fine with me."
"I can't believe we once loved each other." Angy whispered to herself.
"That is a mystery to me too. I was wrong about you. Was I just a bridge so that you could secretly attack Robin?""That's enough! Nami let me take over! I'm going crazy!"
"No, I don't want you to get hurt."
"Nothing shocks me anymore and I'm injured enough."
"Okay but I'll stay with you."
"I expected."
Nami let go of Zorro, Angy came to him with a serious expression.
"What do you want to show me because you are already pointing at something."
"This. Take a look at it. Those are the unsuccessful suicide attempts that you see. They all came about because I had a guilty conscience and I just couldn't anymore."
"I wish it had worked."
"Well, you don't want to. You know what? You can all tell me. I don't understand where your thoughts are buzzing. I don't want to know anything about you anymore. I don't feel like you anymore!" Angy shouted, hitting the wall, which broke into a few pieces until a hole was made so that you could now look into the galley if you ducked a little. Then she disappeared between the orange trees.
"There you can see what we get out of it." said Nami and ran after Angy.Nami searched and searched until she found Angy between the two largest trees. She was just about to peel an orange, calmly, as if nothing had ever happened. Then she saw something else. It just looked like she was going to peel the orange, in reality she had something else to do with this knife! Angy didn't notice that Nami was standing behind her. She pressed the knife firmly against her neck. Then she thought about it
"No, it is not the best way out. Everyone will be sad. It is not necessary, it will only make things worse."
She put the knife aside and winced violently when someone tapped her shoulder.
"Good decision. I'm so glad you didn't."
"Well-Nami, you've been here the whole time? Why didn't you step in?"
"I wanted to know if you would reconsider it. I would have entered at the right moment."
Nami sat down and Angy let her head fall on her lap. Then she cried all the time.Then she tried to stop, looking up at Nami. She shook her head.
"Take your time. Cry yourself out, I'll stay with you until then."
"But that could take a long time."
"So what? I'm your girlfriend and that's what friends are for." answered Nami and smiled. Some time passed and Angy still wasn't finished.
"I have ruined everything." she sobbed.
"But no, you didn't do anything wrong. Zorro just can't respect your feelings - at least if they aren't used up for him."
"Namiii! Angyy! Where are you !?" Luffy got the whole noise and called for them several times.
"We're still up here!" Nami called back. Then she thought of Angy again.
"It's okay if Luffy joins it, isn't it?"
"Yeah, maybe he'll make me laugh or he might also trump me."
"Horn?"
"I mean comfort."
"I know." said Nami calmly. Luffy was already there.
"There are you two ... Angy you are crying, what's wrong?""Fool! She's in a crisis with Zorro and she doesn't want to tell that again."
"Oh. Hey, come on, everything will be fine. At some point everything will go away again."
* His voice sounds so convincing and that calms me down a lot. He's really nice. * thought Angy to herself. Then Luffy whispered something in Nami's ear, but Nami was skeptical.
"I don't think it will work. He's freezing towards her."
"In what way?"
"Well he insults her all the time, and has already called her a 'half-breed' before. She hates being called that. Then my patience broke.
"So you punched the hole in the wall."
"No, that was her."
"Oh. And what is that?"
Luffy ran his fingers gently over the cuts on her neck. Angy got goose bumps. It tingled and hurt inside her at the same time. Then she straightened up a little, but was still leaning against Nami. She looked at them with worried eyes. Luffy smiled broadly. Then he started laughing."You should see how red you are in the face. That makes your brown face look quite red-brown."
Angy laughed a little, but you could hardly hear it. But then she looked at the floor.
"Wait a minute." she said and quickly ran downstairs. She vomited and returned.
"I hate that ... but it was close."
"Hey come on, we have to pay another visit to Chopper or do you just want to let your injuries go undone?"
Luffy took Angy by the hand and pulled her down to Chopper, who was in the boy's room and was experimenting a little.
"Oh no, Zorro is in there, I won't go