broken

Hi!! ^^ How are you !! ?? This is a new Ff of mine and I hope that it turned out well! Personally, I can assess that very badly! So have fun reading! ^^ And if you don't like the start because I don't have one, just write to me and I'll try to change it! ^^
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I feel lonely even though I am not, I have a new class with new friends but I can't trust them.
Just because of that event three years ago? Has that disturbed me so much, changed so that I can no longer trust strangers so quickly or no longer at all? Did I lose my trust in her back then? Is it broken

I feel lonely even though I am not My parents are around me…. and I ... I feel that way ?? How so? The family is the most important thing, isn't it ?! Is it because I've moved away from my friends that I've known for so long?But with the move I also left the bad behind me. My old class, all the stress with them ....... the contempt ……. so why do i feel this way
Does the past never let me go? Is she chasing me? Is that why I can no longer trust people so quickly?

I've met really nice people ... ... have known them for nine months now ...... but why am I so suspicious and skeptical of them? Because I'm afraid? Afraid of it happening again? I don't want it to happen again ... so I'm really scared! Afraid of not having friends in class again…. to be bullied!
But what can I do? I am weak and have no self-confidence…. no, that is not correct!! I try to convince myself this over and over again ... but there are days like these when it doesn't work.

Do you know that? You feel helpless, abandoned, misunderstood and empty!
Do you know how you feel when you have to go to a class every day that you can't stand even though you haven't done anything to them?Definitely not……

…… I had already had some problems with my friends before, they said they no longer want to be friends with me! Why? Because they said my character had changed and they couldn't cope with my "new" me. Depressing right ?!
Then… .then I came to THE class where the real thing began …… we were thrown together again, nobody knew anyone and we "made friends" quickly. I was happy to have made new friends, even if I had made up with my old ones again.
But I was disappointed…. my new "friends" took advantage of me and bullied me ... at some point they went further and started to hurt me mentally and physically!
I didn't know what to do, had no more hopes ... I was devastated and crying every day ... I got depressed, gave up on myself and gave up on defending myself because I had already tried everything.

Would you join them?They got me down, made me feel like I was worthless and ugly!
Would you join them? Even if you don't know what I look like, what I am? Just to go with the flow? So as not to stand against them and let injustice strike? Or are you just easy to manipulate like those in my class?

But then my sister bailed me out. It gradually calmed down and I isolated myself more and more from the class, not saying a word to them any more than necessary. Every day I went there thinking that they didn't like me. I tried to push him aside ...... my gaze became serious, my lips were always sealed and my posture became straight.
Why? Because I tried to appear confident ... and to become ... now you can understand how that feels right?
It's like walking from light into darkness! Complete blackness surrounds you and you get nagst to sink completely into it ... You can feel the looks of the others on you, you get whispered about you and you get stupidly turned on every now and then.You try to suppress it, you also succeed, but gradually you get sad, asks yourself what have I done to them ?! What would you do if you were in my place? It's hard to get through something like that, not to let yourself get down and not to just give up. It's really hard!

But I still don't understand exactly what all of this has to do with my current feelings ..... I probably broke because of it, lost my belief in and in people ....... but why do I feel lonely?
I don't know, I can't explain this feeling.

I feel good in my new class and shouldn't actually be lonely! But why do I feel this way? I have no idea but I know one thing for sure!
I know that I only give my full confidence to one of my friends ... .. I've known her for a long time ... almost 10 years!

Why can't I trust the other so much? Why do i feel lonely?I don't know, I am desperate. I would love to run away ... run away from my problems! But that doesn't change anything about them or my situation. I have to face my problems !! But I already do that every day ... ..it's enough for you!
I would love to run away but I can't. My pride and my stubbornness keep me from ... ..the last bit of pride I still have ....

What should I do? ....... Darkness ...... .Light ... which is probably better ……… for me …… ..the light!
Can i see it sometime? Can i change Can I trust myself more and thus also others? What should I do?

Questions about questions and yet no answers !! ............

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That was it!! ^^ And? How did you like it? I'm looking forward to your clerks !! ^^

Another ff of mine is darkness and .... light ?? !! ^^ With this I am also happy about every further picking!^^

hel

* hug *

your Himo !! ^^