lower and lower until she was suffocated by gentle sobs. Her eyes were full of pain and shimmered with tears, she had wrapped her arms around her and turned to one side, looking out onto the lighted balcony.
Leylan didn't know what to do next, she didn't know how to escape this circle.

"Perhaps it is simply too late for change, perhaps that is what many are trying with all their might to suppress. But these days they are not alone; millions of people walk day in and day out in their world ruled by illusions and shut up face reality ... "

These words kept coming up, bothering her so much that she was sure to find the answer in them. Although Kai had tried to get a general view, the implicit reference to both of them did not escape her.
> Too late for changes ... is it too late for us too? Am I fooling myself? He sees no hope for us ... anything else would be an illusion ... <
These and other thoughts slowly took shape and paralyzed her body. She knew how much had happened, but she never lost her belief in a common future. Leylan knew they were alike and for that reason only, she couldn't let go. It was Kai who understood them, who was able to see behind their facade. It was she who could endure the cold, the ice wall surrounding him, without complaint, because she knew about the warmth behind it.
~

"Leylan, Leylan open the door. Come on, it's me, Mariah."
Wakened by the loud knock on the door, Leylan sat up in a daze and tried to orient himself. She was just about to research in her brain how long she could have slept when it called again from the door. Annoyed, she shouted: "Jesus Christ, it's open! You have to push hard!"
She grabbed her tense neck and closed her eyes, Mariah could hear her anyway.The young Chinese hurried to her and she felt the mattress next to her give way, then a hand on her shoulder and Mariah's voice in her ear: "Hey Leylan, what's going on? You suddenly disappeared after training - I'm really worried made."

Leylan opened her eyes and looked into her best friend's worried face. Sighing, she replied: "I'm sorry, I should have let you know. I needed some rest ... distance, you understand?"
"Distance? Has someone done something to you? Have I done something to you?" Asked Mariah, startled.
The black-haired woman raised her hands soothingly and laughed softly.
"No, no, everything is fine. I just needed a little time for myself. You know me, sometimes I urgently need some solitude and silence."
Mariah looked down and mumbled, "Yeah, I know."
And suddenly happier: "Don't you want to come downstairs, Ray has already set the table and the meal is ready too. You must be hungry, right?"
"Food? Mariah, what time is it?"
Worried, Leylan waited for Mariah to answer. She pushed up the sleeve of her tunic and took a look at the face of her watch.
"Now ... it's a quarter past eight."
"What ?! How long did I sleep? Oh my god - almost 9 hours have passed since training!"
Shaking her head, she got up and pushed the curtains aside - in fact, it was now extremely dark outside ... but this very state calmed her down. Mariah got up heavily and put her arm around her friend's shoulders. Leaning her forehead against the back of her head, she mumbled: "You don't need to come down with me, it's okay. I'll bring you something up later."
Smiling, Leylan grabbed Mariah's hand and squeezed it gently.
"Thank you." Was all she said, but it was enough to show Mariah all her affection.
~

Kai sat in silence at the table and enjoyed the few minutes he had before Tyson, Max and Hilary would rush in.Beside him, Tala was eating his miso soup, also in silence. Ray came out of the kitchen with a bowl of soup and sat down with his teammates with a sigh. Even before he was seated, Kai knew that sooner or later he would talk to him - he could tell by looking at him.
Annoyed by his suddenly necessary haste, he hurriedly spooned his soup and wanted to slip away as unnoticed as possible - but not with Ray!
"Hey Kai, the whole time I wanted to ask you something ..." he began.
"I know.", The cool half-Russian growled and stared morosely into the rest of his soup.
Ray raised his eyebrows in surprise: "Oh really? Husband, whatever. Anyway, I wanted to know what happened between you and Leylan today - you know when she came up to you in the middle of training."
He looked expectantly at the dismissive-looking leader. When Kai looked up, he frowned in shock: he didn't look at all pleased.
"I don't know what adventurous thought made you believe that I would answer you well now, but actually I don't really care. What 'happened' between me and Leylan is no concern of anyone and believe me, it also has the information level of a morning talk show - yawning boredom. ", he replied and his voice literally clinked with cold.
Ray nodded busily and said, "Sure, you're right."
And laughing nervously: "My thoughts are sometimes, as you said, 'adventurous'."
Kai twisted his lips into a short, joyless smile and then stood up.
"I would hurry up, Yuriy. Kindergarten can't be far."
Tala raised her eyes barely noticeably and nodded - as if this fact had escaped him.

After Kai left the room, Ray gave Tala an annoyed look and said: "You are his best friend, can't you tell me what made him so terribly sarcastic and nasty?"He stirred his soup vigorously.
Tala put her fingertips together and closed her bright eyes for a moment, when he opened them again, his face had an extremely serene expression.
"Kai didn't ´made´ anything else, rather changed it. He´s like a board of nails - you keep trying to run over it to prove your strength and stamina and again and again you fail because of the needles that are much too sharp."
With these words he got up and put his bowl and his best friend's bowl in the sink. Ray sat in his chair, completely perplexed in view of this rare openness, and no longer understood the world. Nevertheless, Tala's comparison made sense to him, which is why he added: "Nevertheless, you keep trying until you can walk over it painlessly, until you can possibly even stand on the needles for minutes."
Surprised, Tala turned around and looked at Ray in amazement. He turned his head and saw how the red-haired Russian nodded approvingly. Smiling, he spooned his soup.
~

Meanwhile Kai was standing on his balcony and holding his face in the cool wind, his hair just swirling around his ears. As is so often the case on nights like this, a strange longing overcame him; his heart was filled with the bitter taste of melancholy.
He didn't know what to do, couldn't find a way to get rid of this uncomfortable feeling. If it was otherwise due to his uncertain future that he was looking forward to with doubts, he had to admit today that his future did not concern him very much at the moment.
> Leylan, if you had never returned ... I wish you would have stayed where you came from, far away from those tight feelings and problems. You bring me back the suffering that I never wanted to feel again. <
He bowed his head helplessly and let it sink onto his fists, which were clutching the railing. He knew he was doing her injustice, but the worthlessness of his words felt good, he would never count them among "his wealth".Space for various little things:

Kai mentions Leylan's response to the question if she had met anyone, which she leaves unanswered. But that doesn't mean the topic is off the table, not that you think I have forgotten XD

It is now two and a half years that Leylan has, evidently, spent in Moscow.