Die and live

Live and you will die, die and you will learn to live.

A starry night. Far away the barking of a lonely dog. The city lit up brightly. The streets are shady, eerie and suspicious. A skyscraper as high as fifteen fir trees. At the very top of one of the small windows there is a light, but on the whole Lonely floor it is just one of many. A tiny apartment is hidden behind this window. So small that it wasn't really noticeable in this cracked skyscraper. And then very small in a corner, a young woman, little more than a pile. A woman with a strange smile on her face, a dark, sinister smile. Time seems to stand still for them. A strange glow in her eyes, a glow of ancient joy that was long gone. Her hair hung tousled over her shoulder and in the weak light of the bare lightbulb it gleamed red, as red as blood. My face fell in and deep shadows were drawn under her eyes, making her look fragile. On her body she wore a nightgown, tattered and patched up. It barely covers her body and barely seemed to warm her, and yet she smiled. In one hand she held a chain, an old chain from times past, from happy times. In the other she holds a knife, its metal gleaming rusty in the light of the lightbulb. The young woman's heart beat weakly and slowly, her breathing was calm and determined. Very slowly she raised her hand that held the knife and looked at it. Then she raised her other hand and looked at the chain next to the knife. The chain only shone faintly, on it hung a pendant, half a heart. He wore exactly the same, he was a reason why she was here. Her head moved forward as if she wanted to evade the thought of him. She dropped the hand with the chain and clasped the pendant tightly in her fist. The other hand lowered the knife onto her forearm. Her smile faded for a moment as she drove the knife into her arm. But as soon as the blood came out of the wound, she smiled again. Slowly the blood made its way over her arm to her hand. She knew that it was wrong, knew that she should actually fight, but she was chained, she could no longer fight, because there was no longer what she could fight for. She had no more friends, no job, no home, he had taken everything from her, including the ability to love. And now she was finished. She looked at the blood and licked her chapped lips. Then she started the knife again, another stab followed, deeper, more painful. But her smile did not go away. She felt her consciousness begin to fade. But she didn't let death come so quickly. She stabbed one more time to get redemption and yet she tried to stay on earth. Perhaps there was still a last bit of hope left in her.But it was too late. She dropped the knife and looked at the red puddle below. Her heartbeat slowed even further, her breathing became more forced. She clenched her hand tighter so as not to lose the chain. When she closed her eyes, there was no angel, she knew she didn't deserve one. Her breath stopped, her heart gave a few final beats, then her body went limp. Her mind didn't seem to dissolve into anything, but there was something, a white light, a glistening light that blinded her. She walked very slowly towards it. And then she stepped through.

A young man left the shadow of the skyscraper and looked up at the lonely shining window. His deed was done and yet there was a bit of sadness left, like every time he collected. She would certainly have it good up there. But something was different than usual. His lost heart, which had been taken from him so long ago, suddenly seemed to be there, and it hurt, took his breath away. And he knew that he shouldn't have done it. And for the first time he began to pray, a lonely prayer that couldn't save him and yet maybe it helped. "Take me to you, let me be up there with her!" were his mute words. And then, the earth seemed to stand still as a blazing light surrounded him too. "Come to me my son!" were his words and the young man followed.

[i]It was a mild spring day and the sun was shining in the park. A young couple was walking along the gravel path. The young woman had one hand on her stomach, the other was in her partner's. They both smiled and seemed to be enjoying their lives heartily. At some point they stopped and the woman greedily inhaled the spring air. The man looked up at the sky and his gaze became melancholy. “Thank you.” And the young woman's hair shimmered red in the sun.