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Is it all just a dream
I hope so! I crouch on the roof and look at the moon, it shines down on me.
I want, but that my dream becomes real and this doesn't stay real.
I don't understand him, how could I?
When I look at the moon like this, I remember the story my brother always told me when I was hdepri:
"Nothing in the world is perfect, not even the moon. It has craters and blemishes and so does your heart. There is a story. Once upon a time there was a successful hero, with long blond hair and on a white steed he got into a little one Dorf and reported on his victories: "I saved the princess from a dragon without being harmed. My heart is pure and whole. It is without blemishes, it is perfect." He said on a horse surrounded by citizens. Yes Then an old farmer stepped forward, his face scarred and his eyesight faded. The frail man approached the hero with his stick and no one helped him. The hero dismounted his horse and asked the man: 'Would you like to congratulate me on mine New trip dear sir? Or do you want to admire my heart? Here it is! ´ said the hero and showed the man his heart, flawless, without scars or injuries, without craters. Simply perfect. The man stroked the heart again and again and again nd his hand went to his own chest. ´My heart is far more valuable than yours it can be. ´ said the old man and drew his heart out of his chest. It was covered with scars, many places were sewn and covered with holes, and there was a piece to be found. what didn't fit in the hole. It was the complete opposite of the fair-haired boy who just laughed. `You are good at joking, dear man, your heart is worthless and broken. ´, he laughed to himself and now the man started to explain. ´My heart is covered with war scars, they are all experiences I never want to forget and they are in my heart. Wherever pieces are missing or even unsuitable, I have met someone to whom I have given a part of my heart. Often times I got a piece back, but it didn't fit into the hole that was created. It was either too big or too small and where there is a hole. There I gave away my heart part, but never got anything back. My heart is worth so much more than yours is. Because it contains all the memories and experiences. Even if I often didn't get love again. I have never regretted it. ´, his voice sounded wise and really serious. But the scjönling got back on his horse, laughed and left the village.
This story tells that heart which has experienced a lot and is covered with wounds is more valuable than the perfect one. "Every time I had to listen to this story. But it was correct. That's why the moon is so beautiful, it has flaws, but I still love it so much.Just like him, my brother. He's imperfect, a smoker, a delinquent, but I love him. He is always there for me. I couldn't know what I would do without him, but now it is. I have to live without him. Why was he so stupid?
How could he do this to me?
Couldn't he just have left it?
Then he would still be here, then he would still be with me. Tears run down my face, in my dream he is with me, takes my hand and takes care of me. He's there for me, can't the dream become a reality?
Why did reality have to become a dream?
Why is he no longer here?
I don't know how to go on without him. Yes, another piece was torn from my heart, but I regret it. I want them all back.
When our father left us, my heart took the first parts, when my love I left the next, when our mum left us I didn't know what to do next. But d ú said we both can do it!
But now you are gone too!
Should I be able to do it on my own now?
I do not get it? Why are you doing this to me?
Why do you all have to leave me?
Boy will you leave me too?
Will I be all alone soon?
My heart is now in one piece and that is his!
He's the only one left with me, will he leave me too?
He is the only one whose arms are still holding me and his heart is only part of it. This part is mine, I gave it to him a long time ago. But he's not my love, no. He's just a friend, the only one who hasn't left me. But why?
Why did my family and love leave me and the friendship stayed?
How is that possible?
I look at the moon and remember his face, his almost black eyes, his brilliant smile, his perfect facial features and a sentence comes to mind:
Love asks the family: 'What are you there for? ´
This replies: `` To watch over them! ´
The family saw the love for friendship and asked at the same time: 'And what are you then still there for? ´
She grinned at the two and replied: 'To alleviate all that and to make amends for what you have done and will do! ´
Yes, he was the only one left and he would never leave me alone. At least that's how I think, I don't have to decide what happens in the end.
I cannot influence it, but one thing is certain:
If I lose him I won't be able to go on.
My heart is made up of one part, the rest is covered in complete blackness. Nowhere a stain of love, but wait there is something. Something small, inconspicuous. So small that I really have to look for it inside of me. It's a small spark, it's my hope. Hope to be able to love again and hope that he stays with me.
Because this hope will last as long as I can still walk the streets with my head held high.Again my eyes are directed to the moon.
Yes, imperfect and damaged. Really worthless to the objective observer, but beautiful and unique to me. The moon will show me the right way, I know it exactly and if I have to drag it with me for that too. It is my way and it will be with me.
Because maybe in the end I can love again.
Maybe I'll find new friends.
Maybe a replacement for the family.
Because he cannot represent all three points at the same time, at some point he will also lack the strength. But all of this is uncertain.
But one thing is and remains real:
Life, no, my life goes on and I'll fight as long as I can stand up straight.
"Whoever fights can lose, whoever does not fight has already lost!" I call out into the night and my voice echoes through the night. Lonely without any company.
I go my way!

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The second OS of my collection. Yes, it's written a little more friendly, because I'm in a better mood at the moment.
But soon there will be more emotional (does the word even exist?) OS´.
Glg Jule ^^