Happy

Everything in me contracted. It was his eyes, but someone else stood in front of me.
"Who are you?" I asked coldly.
He smiled, his smile was as cold as ice, but I sensed his feelings clearly. They reflected something completely different.
"Tzz ... you don't know that?" He said.
His voice was as cold as his smile. In general he radiated an uncanny coldness, but that was just a mere facade, as I noticed when I closed my eyes and concentrated on his feelings. There was more of an uncertainty.
"No, not that I knew that I should know you", I was able to keep up with his game, I also had the advantage of knowing his feelings. He was very confused by my still mine.
Now he was laughing, but this time it didn't sound so cold, it sounded a little honest.
"Itachi," was all he said.
The name sounded familiar, but I wanted to forget about it.
"Maybe you know my little brother," he added.
It was like a knife that he rammed into my heart, right into the deep hole he had left. I suppressed a scream and tried to keep my thoughts to myself and not let anything show.
"You know him right?" He continued.
A tear rolled down my cheek, how long had I not cried? It was like a wall was falling deep inside me. And there was this need for trust and security again, which I had felt in him. Why did his brother trigger the same feelings as Sasuke in me again? Why him? He came slowly towards me. He had to control himself not to walk too fast because he wanted to touch me. I felt that need in him. It was big and similar to mine.
Was he the real shadow, maybe?
Itachi paused an armspan in front of me and looked into my eyes searchingly.
"He hurt you, didn't he?" He whispered to me and took another step towards me.
It was just too much for me all at once. I wanted to scream, just scream. Screaming in pain and despair. But before I could utter a sound, he sealed my lips with a kiss.

It was weird, it didn't cause pain in me, just desire. I wanted to trust him, his brother. I opened my eyes.
What did I do there? I kissed the brother of the one who hurt me. He was happy, I felt it. Did it feel so wrong?
No
"I would like to see you again to explain everything to you, Runa. Here tomorrow evening, I'll wait for you," he whispered to me before simply disappearing. This scene reminded me too much of his brother and the tears flowed again.

I stayed a little longer in the clearing and looked out over the lake.
Why did I let Itachi kiss me?
Why?!
What if he really was the shadow?
Was Kakashi and I so wrong?
The feelings just simmered in me again.His kiss had broken everything in me, had shown me what it means to feel something.
Was I grateful for that?
Yes.
I missed really feeling something so much. And when I thought of his tender kiss I was warm.
What was that all about?
With him the attraction was almost stronger than with Sasuke.
I finally allowed myself to think his name again. It didn't hurt me anymore, he had left me, made me what I was.
But I couldn't hate him, I knew that for sure. There was something else.

"Back again, Runa?", Kakashi greeted me with a smile.
I smiled back.
"Bad?" I grinned at him.
He was completely confused and if he hadn't had the mask his mouth was probably open.
His feelings fluctuate between amazement, doubt, and happiness.
I started to laugh, did that again. Completely perplexed, he happily joined in.
"How does it come back to that?" He tried to sound casual, but I saw in his eyes that it was important to him.
"I just decided to let go of the past and really start over," I told him.
Yeah, I'd let my past rest There was now something that helped me. Even if it was just a straw that I clung to, I would dare. It couldn't go wrong more than one more time. But I was also prepared to risk it.
I was sure Itachi would help me.
But Kakashi was not allowed to find out about it, he would not allow me to meet a nuke-nin.

Not much longer and it was already dark. Satisfied with myself and the world at last I fell asleep again after a long time.
Finally, I was happy again!