Chapter: Just a dream?

So here's the next part. Looking forward to commis ^ - ^
Have fun reading ^^

Just a dream?

“Go in.” I nod, quietly open the door, step inside. Look at them. I can understand him well. Those eyes full of warmth, happiness. Your laugh, the most beautiful in the world. Your gestures, facial expressions, posture. Everything is like a goddess. Even in sleep, she is even more beautiful than anything else. I look over at her one last time. Then I turn around, walk out of the room and out into the street. It was nice to see her again in such a long time. I envy him. He can see her laughing. Every day. Look into their eyes every day. I was only allowed 72 hours. Time is short, maybe too short. I’m here one last time. See them. How I would like to tell her. But don't trust me. It wouldn't make any sense anyway. I'll be gone soon. Forever. She lives on with her life.Will forget me The thought of not shening her anymore hurts, almost tears me apart. I walk through the streets with my eyes down.
I slowly open my eyes and look at the white wall in front of me. This scent? It is his. It can't be his. It's not there and never will be again. Individual tears find their way, soon a whole stream. How much i miss him. I try to hold back my tears. With a lot of effort, I finally make it. I don't force me to think about him, to forget him. There are many, many others. Why did it have to be him? I will probably never get an answer to that. He did it again. I turn on my back and stare at the ceiling. My thoughts are with him again. Fatigue comes over me, makes me close my eyes and fall into a restless sleep.
Someone is calling my name. I sat up, rubbing my eyes.He stands in front of me. He, the last and first of my thoughts. What is he doing here? How did he even get here? The tiredness that closed my eyes a moment ago is now being replaced by water. Clear, salty water cools my skin. He stands there, motionless. How so? Why doesn't he come and comfort me like all the others? Everything hurts me That stupid flu got me worse after all. He looks at me. Without feeling, without warmth. Just on. His gaze seems to pierce me. Maybe he doesn't even see me. Slowly the tears dry up. My eyes become sharper. I want to see him one last time. But he's gone. Everything goes black in front of me.
The fever has risen. My hand rests on my glowing forehead. I take a deep breath. "It was just a dream .." I try to calm myself down, my heart pounding. He haunts me like a phantom, every night anew. I sink back into my pillow.It's too much, too much for me. How long should I keep doing this? My strength is fading, the darkness in my heart is growing stronger. Incessantly and there is no one who can prevent it. You, you did it, but now you're gone, forever. I stumble to the window, look out. Blue rules the sky, the sun bathes everything in a bright light. I look for a thick sweater from my wardrobe and put it on even though it is 22 ° C. I go out into the green. A walk, that's exactly what I need now. The fresh air is good for you. A thick scarf covers my neck and gives it warmth. My legs hardly carry me, I always have to hold on to support myself. In spite of everything, they carry me around town. Always further to the city center. I stop at Yugi's house. Should I say hello to him? I look at the clock. School is long gone. I approach the door. Maybe he's there. I ring.Nobody opens. I turn, go. Fruits roll across the street. I ran into someone. I collect them, put them in the bag, press them into the hand of the man in front of me, pass by without looking at him. I want to go home, long for my bed. My heart beats wildly, a swarm of bees populates my stomach area. How so? I hadn't even seen the man's face yet. I'm going home, don't waste any more thoughts on it.
Someone picks up my purchases, puts them in my hand, doesn't look at me. I recognize them anyway. The bumblebees in my stomach give it away. I would have loved to hold onto her, never let go of her. My heart hurts. She was with him. I have no place in her life, and I never will. He had sent me shopping, maybe so as not to meet her. He knows about my feelings, I about his. I knew she would never fall in love with me.Sure, we were friends. I always have a place in her heart, but not like that. I wished him different. A special one, just like her with me. But I immediately rejected this wish when I noticed that I had no chance with her anyway. I wanted to see her one last time. I would have preferred to leave it alone. Time is running out. I wanted to talk to her, explain everything to her. I am no longer part of their life. Maybe she's already forgotten me. The door in front of me opens. “There you are!” I push the bag into his hand, turn away and leave. Time flies. 10 hours left. I have to find her, at least want to say goodbye. I get to your house. Your mother opens. “One more try?” She smiles. I smile back and walk past her to her room. She sleeps. Maybe she dreams of him. I force myself to stay in the room, approach her. I will finally say goodbye.Like I should have done a long time ago I say her name softly. Mumbling, she turns around and slowly opens her eyes.
I open my eyes but don't trust them. It's probably one of those dreams again. Dreams that will never come true. I say his name in disbelief. He comes up to me, sits down next to me on the bed. My pulse is racing and the swarm of bees is back. I'm starting to doubt it's a dream It's good to feel your closeness, even if it's just a dream. He looks me in the eye. I almost don't recognize him. It has become softer, warmer. I've never seen him look like this before. He leans down to me. I feel his breath on my skin. “I'm sorry.” His voice is almost a breath. I look at him. What is he sorry for? It seems like he can read minds. "I should have said goodbye to you. I'm sorry." I just nod.A coughing fit overtakes me, cuts my breath away. He looks at me worried. Nonsensical thoughts buzz through my head, hinder normal thinking. I look at the floor, can't stand his gaze.
What does she have? How should I help her? She looks down. I don't know why I gently turn her chin towards me, forcing her to look into my eyes. My body no longer obeys me, does what it wants. Her red eyes, it hurts to watch her like that. Why is she crying? Did he make her do it? I would love to hit the person responsible for it. But I can't. I left her alone once when she wasn't feeling well, not a second time. Instead, I put my arms around her, hold her tight. She digs into my shirt and starts crying. What shall I do? How can I help you?
I have to look at him. Why is he doing this? Does he enjoy hurting me? Apparently yes.He takes me in his arms, holds me tight. Please, please don't let go of me It is good to feel your closeness after such a long time. Maybe it's just a dream. I wish it was real. That I can see you again. Even if it's just a dream, being close to you, your warmth, is good for you. I start to cry, can no longer hold back the tears. How much I miss you. Now you are with me, but when I wake up everything is as always. Your shirt is already soaked. Slowly the dream seems a bit too real to me. I look up, look right in your eyes How long have I not seen her in a while? I get sucked in by them, get lost in them. He smiles. Why is he smiling? Isn't it enough for him to keep hurting me? Must be that too. It is not a dream! That smile, it's really not a dream. How much I wished for that smile.That he would smile at me the way he does right now. His words tear me from my thoughts. “Is it going again?” I manage to say a halfway understandable “yes”, keep looking him in the eye.
This view. I have to tell her, I owe it to her. I'm caught in her eyes, can't get away, don't want to. I want to enjoy this moment, the last of its kind. I bend over to her, cover her lips with mine. I don't know why, but it's good to feel her so close. The first and last time. I'll tell her everything. I'll confess it to him too, he'll definitely hate me, but maybe he'll understand me too. I don't want to say goodbye to my friends in an argument.
What?! What is he doing? Why is he kissing me ?! How long have I been wishing for that. I close my eyes, enjoy the moment. After a little eternity he breaks away from me, stands up and looks at me, a faint smile on his face."I love you. Good luck with him." He walks out of the room, closes the door behind him. I look after him in shock. He ... he loves me ?! Only slowly do I realize what has just happened. Him? What or who does he mean by 'him'? I don't have anyone else. I jump up, run after him. “Wait!” My croak has become an understandable sentence. I stand in the hallway, look around. It's gone, gone. I go back into the room, look out the window. Was it just a dream after all?

This is the end for now. How did you find him? What is good and what is bad?